Heaven Help the Horsleys

Reconnecting

2011-04-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

It could be spring. The deep green of snow-fed grass in early April is always an awakening sight for me.

It could be sleep. I've been getting a healthy amount these days - uninterrupted, uninhibited. I actually wake refreshed for the first time in almost 8 years.

It could be the renewal of old friendships. Coming face-to-face with a past I once tried to abandon has been surprsingly soul-healing and eye-opening.

It could be the hair. As superficial as it may sound, I like seeing a "new" me when I look in the mirror these days. It makes me feel like anything is possible.

Or it could simply be that things have been put aright. I've realized that coming here and putting something real out into the world is much more gratifying than writing for the almighty dollar (as romantic as that once seemed).

No matter the reason, it's time to return. I've been holding my breath, biting my tongue, bound up and held back by monsters of my own making for long enough. I'm reconnecting - and I write here for me, no one else.

A Life By Design

2009-08-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know, even I thought this blog was abandoned for good. But I find myself once again in need of a place that's all my own, void of demands and expectations. A place to catch my breath. A place to return to.

Where have I been? I've spent the past few months on the run...

Extinguishing, Igniting
Balancing, Breaking
Hiding, Exposing
Climbing, Plumeting

and always always always
Teetering Right On The Edge

And while the break-neck pace is nobody's fault but my own, I'm not cut out for it. I know I've lost my center when this blog sits empty for too long - it means life is running me, as opposed to the other way around.

So here I am, as usual, recommitting myself to taking back the controls. August falls upon our family full of promise and I'm looking forward to the return of my life by design. I hope to share here the honest and beautiful moments of the days ahead and rediscover my center.

I want more memories like these.

Magnificent Times

2009-05-18T01:05:00.000-07:00

I know I have no business writing about something so insignificant, after neglecting this poor blog for over a month. But it's 2 am and I just found a song I've been trying to track down for 7 years. 7 YEARS.

I've been sitting at the computer for 4 hours now, catching up on writing for SuperMom Central and Traveling Mom so I can start the week with a clean conscience. It's awesome in and of itself that I, a stay at home mom of 3 with no solid creds to my name, have turned my passion for writing, traveling and parenting into a small career of sorts. Even 10 years ago my hands would have been tied. Awesome.

But I was photo editing tonight as well, with some pretty amazing results. I don't own a fancy camera or a fancy program, but thanks to the internet, I was able to take this photo...

And do this...

Pretty amazing.

When my brain started to fry, I took a quick break and jumped over to Playlist which, thanks to my solid music addiction, rivals Picnik as my favorite site to play on. Surfing for old favorites got me thinking about that elusive Badly Drawn Boy song I was so infatuated with while in Switzerland...

(this is the Damon Gough, aka Badly Drawn Boy - appropriate name, doncha think?)

Once I'd set to the task I've so often given up on over the years, it was like solving a puzzle. With the help of Wikipedia, Amazon, Google, and finally YouTube, I FOUND IT!

Magnificent. Just magnificent.

Not that I found some random song or edited a photo or shared parenting advice. All those things are pretty dang cool but what is absolutely magnificent is the amount of information, knowlege, and ability we have literally at our fingertips. We are now, more than ever before, true citizens of the earth - intertwined and connected in ways almost incomprehensible.

I used to argue passionately that the world was better off before the internet. Radio brought news and music to the world. Television brought to life images from across the globe. Both had reprocussions, but they were worth it. However, I was convinced that the dangers brought with computers weren't worth the benefits. The internet holds spectacular power, which is easily wielded for evil. I asserted that we were better off without it in the long run.

But tonight, I'm rethinking my position. My husband worked online from home while I recovered from giving birth to our third child. I earned my degree by doing homework at 2 am while logged on to my E-Class. My mom helped keep my childhood family out of bankruptcy with the medical transcriptions she typed up and emailed to doctor's offices. Disneyland found my parenting blog and treated our family to an amazing weekend full of fun memories. My sister posts photos in an online account and we can all witness sweet little Leah's first days.

Tonight I feel lucky. Lucky to live in an age when every song composed in the last thousand years sits just a few clicks away. Lucky that I can preserve and access precious moments in the lives of my children with photo, video and all the tools that come with them. Lucky to be connceting with other women in the world like me - mothers desiring to practice exceptional parenting, thirsting for the knowlege to do so.

Lucky to live in this Magnificent Time.

One Last Winter

2009-03-26T23:53:00.000-07:00

I woke up yesterday morning to a fresh layer of snow settling on our backyard and promptly went back to bed. 5 minutes later, as the pillow and I were dreamily fusing together, my kids discovered the wintery wonderland outside and came flying into my room at top speed to announce the news and demand their mittens. It was all I could do to keep them from flinging themselves out the back door in their pajamas - a mere 25 minutes after I had woken up the first time, all 4 of us were bundled and bustling excitedly out into the thick of it...

Okay, maybe not all of us were excited. Having refused his mittens, Mer spent the first while poised hesitantly on the step. Can you blame him? Two days earlier his outside world was full of wonderful new discoveries like blooming buds and scurrying bugs.

Jude, however, plunged right in. This was his first year up on the snowboard and I'm pretty sure he's fully smitten. To him, snow is now synonymous with fun. His five-year-old enthusiasm for whatever the day might bring has kept me moving through the slow winter months.

It wasn't long before we'd worn ourselves out making angels and forts. After one last snowball fight, we piled our snowclothes at the door and knocked back a little hot chocolate. Gabby and I watched the marshmellows melt a bit as we warmed up. I gotta say, not a bad way to spend the morning...

But Mother Nature better not get any ideas. It is time to release Utah from the clutches of winter and let us enjoy our 5 minutes of Spring before the heat hits hard!

Balance

2009-03-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

I used to go to bed each night feeling like I had failed someone somehow. If I'd spent the afternoon playing with the kids instead of cooking a nice dinner, I'd failed my husband as a housewife. If I'd spent the evening out on a date with Brett, I'd failed my mom who needed to talk on the phone. If I'd cleaned the house all day, I'd failed my children who'd begged for stories and games. And when I showed up every week to guitar lesson, having not cracked my instruction books all week, I failed my teacher and myself. No matter who I pleased, there was someone I always failed.

And yet, I've also been unwilling to give up any of those things. I enjoy being a wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, homemaker, visiting teacher, primary teacher, writer, guitarist, and eliptical-machine-dominator. Each role is important to me, and a crucial part of who I am.

So what to do? Surrender my sanity? Succumb to the tide? Nope.

Balance.

Have you ever watched closely the circus performers on the high wire? Everything they do is planned, calculated, timed. Nothing is rushed or careless. Nothing is left up to chance. They are deliberate in every move they make. Every move.

And that's what I'm determined to be. Deliberate. The dawn will no longer take me unpleasantly by surprise! I will be ready and waiting when the sun comes up, to accomplish the goals I've made for that day and lay down that night satisfied with my efforts. Satisfied that I walked the high wire one more day - dared to do what often feels almost-impossible, and made it to the other side.

Who am I kidding, right? I'll take some tumbles, no doubt. Lucky for me I've got some pretty swell people waiting in the wings to pick me up. And if I've learned anything in my 30 short years here, I hope it's how to "shake it off" and try again. And again. And again, and again, and again, and again............................................................

2009 Will Be Mighty Fine

2009-01-08T20:07:00.000-08:00

New Year's is ALMOST my favorite holiday, second only Christmas. And I think it's because I relish the idea of a totally fresh start. My curiousity is invigorrated by the possibilities that lay in wait for the new year and I find myself with renewed desire to grow, learn, change and explore who I am, and more importantly, who I want to be.

So I'm sharing my New Year's resolutions again with you this year in hopes that as I do my quarterly check-ins and read your comments and opinions, it will keep that enthusiasm for 2009 rolling along. I'm changing it up a bit, though. Instead of having specific goals that have finite requirements, I wanted to set my aspirations towards becoming more of the person I want to be. So these are all "Be" Resolutions (with a big thank you to President Hinkley, who has inspired me so much with his "Be"s.)

1 - Be In The Moment

While I refuse to worry much about the future, I definitely struggle with wallowing in the past. Regrets haunt me night and day (hence the trouble sleeping and consequent trouble getting up early), often clouding my thoughts so much that I don't enjoy the present. My children are growing, my family is changing, I am aging with each passing day and I think the key to feeling comfortable with the passage of time is in the noting of it. I'm sad to admit that there are 2 years of my life that I hardly have any memory of. I hope that by striving to enjoy the here and now I will be able to let go of the past and look forward to the future.

2 - Be Daring

So often I find myself often saying things like "Someday I'd like to try windsurfing" or "Someday I'm gonna dye bright purple streaks in my hair". And then I just smile and carry on with my pedestrian existence. This year there will be no more excuses for not seizing each opportunity that lies before me - and going after a few. I will be bold, brave, fearless!!! Or maybe I'll just try at least one new thing a month. Baby steps, right?

2 - Be Patient

Which means I'll probably have to cut my Coke intake, at least before I drive or play with my kids. For reals, though, I've rarely thought of myself as an impatient person until recently. I've begun to notice that I am hurrying through my days with a jittery (though fairly friendly) intolerance for anyone who slows me down. My children, the phone, the other drivers on the road...I'm always encouraging those around me to pick up the pace, instead of just easing up and going with the flow. This year I will slow myself. And I will enjoy the relaxing passage of time with the people I share the world with. Especially my children. No more rushing those sweet little things.

4 - Be Dependable

This one's gonna be the toughest, I already know. I have the best of intentions, and the worst follow-thru. Despite the fact that my heart is usually in the right place, my mind is never where it's supposed to be and I end up forgetful, flakey, and notoriously late. I used to this the word "Dependable" was another way of saying "Boring". But lately I'm realizing that my actions come off as quite unthoughtful to the people who rightfully expect me to do what I say I'm going to do. I want to be someone who can be counted on. It's part of being a good friend, a good daughter, a good wife and a good person.

Alright peeps, there they are. My 4 resolutions for making 2009 Mighty Fine. If you've got any suggestions that will help me stick to my guns, I'd love to hear 'em.

If not, at least tell me what you're resolutions are for this year!

Mommy 911

2008-12-31T16:19:00.000-08:00

I've had some serious domestic dilemmas lately that have started me wishing there was some sort of hotline I could ring when things go Kaboom around here. I would no doubt have it on speed-dial! Well until someone smarter than me invents it, I'm gonna list a few of my latest motherhood snaffus (just in case any of you can shed some light):

- I pull stuff out of Merrick's nostrils on a daily basis. I have no idea where this obsession came from, but it's really starting to freak me out! A few weeks ago he put a piece of corn up there during dinner, which we quickly removed. The next morning, he suddenly sneezed out another kernel! I'm super scared that something's gonna get jammed up there so far it will touch his brain and instantly kill him. Death by corn. Is that possible?

So many nostril-sized objects, so little time.

- There was an unfortunate fingernail polish incident that has left a bright pink spot on Gabby's cute yellow pants. I'm sure there's some random combination of household products (like toothpaste and superglue or whatever) that will magically make the stain disappear, but I have no clue what it is. Anybody?

She's smiling, but inside she's burning with shame

because mommy lacks laundry skills.

- After years of burning and drying out a great many chicken breasts, I now find myself on the flip side - I'm so paranoid about overcooking that I end up not cooking it well enough and have nearly poisoned Brett several times. I'm ready to declare us a vegetarian household, just to avoid the whole nasty business altogether. If anyone has the secret to perfectly cooked chicken, please share it and save us from a tragic life of tofu!

The woman who can't properly prepare chicken, and the man who may inadvertently die as a result.

Now that I've admitted my failings, I hope you'll speak up with any and all ideas.

Don't be shy and Don't be stingy, peeps -
my family needs your help!

Seriously So Blessed

2008-12-26T01:24:00.000-08:00

There are plenty of reasons why people keep journals. Records for posterity, marking the passage of time, contemplation of daily events...reflection. Not so much the "inward thinking" type of reflection, but the reflective mirror held up to our face that shows us who we truly are. I think this is the reason I choose to write. Because two weeks or two months or two years later I can read what I did and thought and match it up against who I think I am.

That "reflective" effect has other benefits as well. It can keep us from repeating painful mistakes. It can serve as a pat on the back for personal growth. And most recently, I've found it shining a much-needed light on my many blessings.

You see, I used to be a "cup half full" kind of girl, looking on the bright side, seeing silver linings, and so on. The past two years have been the darkest of my life and some difficult experiences have left me with a slit-eyed view of the world - intolerant, critical, untrusting, and bitter. It took some "reflecting" in my writings to realize how much I've let it all drag me down. But that same revelation has helped me see that my cup truly is half full - strike that - brimming over with reasons to feel nothing but gratitude.

I am Literally Seriously So Blessed.

Those of your who are familiar with the newly-popular phrase above (and matching blog) know that it's meant as a bit of satire - but I am sincere here. And why shouldn't I be? Feeling blessed is not a bragging contest or a starry-eyed view of the world - it's a mental choice everyday to focus on the positive and greet the world with a grateful heart. I love the people that fill their blogs with such feelings! They are the writers that uplift and remind me that there is much to be thankful for and not a day should go by that I don't appreciate that.

Our Christmas celebrations over the past few days have really melted my icy heart. I've found my slitted-eyes opened, and filled with tears more than once. And while I was definitely showered with gifts (much more than I deserve), I was also showered with genuine love and that was by far the best present I received this year. The selfless acts of compassion I've received this holiday season have reminded me of how Seriously So Blessed I truly am and I hope, by journalling them, that I can more easily carry those kindnesses with me throughout the year. So that I will continue to reflect, remember, and rejoice in all I have been given. Every last blessing.

The Merriest Place On Earth

2008-12-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

I hadn't planned on blogging about this.

Let me explain: When I decided to venture into the blogosphere, I mentally gave myself some guidelines to follow, based on the writings I wanted to put out into the world. Therefore, this is not a "guess what we did last weekend" blog or a "look how cute my kids are" blog (ok, maybe every once in awhile I can't help myself), nor is it a "stuff that bugs me" blog, "pretty junk I wish I could afford" blog, or even a "what I recently read/saw/cooked" blog. Don't get me wrong - those are all good things to write about and you will see hints of them here from time to time. But my personal purpose for having a blog is to gather up to truly poignant (or truly funny) moments in my life and share them with the people I care about, with the belief that no matter what unique experiences you have, the deeper meanings in life are universal and real and important to document.

That being said, I'm dying to break my self-imposed rules for a moment to do a little shameless bragging because...

I'm typing this as I sit on luxurious queen bed in a beautiful hotel room on the second floor of the Disneyland hotel on an all-expenses paid Disney vacation! And the coolest part is that it is all thanks to blogging. I was approached through my parenting blog (SuperMom Central, in case I haven't yakked about it enough here) with an opportunity to bring my family to Cali for the weekend and experience the infamous Disney Christmas magic. We've been enjoying all sorts of special treats - Gingerbread Houses and Christmas cookies (Mickey style), festive parades, beautiful musical performances, impressive fireworks, a holiday version of both "It's A Small World" and "The Haunted Mansion", some fancy face painting, plus Christmas photos with Belle, Goofy, Mickey and Minnie!

If you know me well, you can imagine what a dream come true this is for me. The Disneyland hotel is beautfiul - all decked out for the winter season and full of fun Disney touches like a Pirate Paradise Pool and Mickey eared bathroom products. My kids are totally loving it but my excitement comes in at a close second!

I'll soon be blogging about this on SuperMom Central, if you want to hear more about all the awesome holiday cheer Disney puts into a winter vacation experience but that's enough gushing here on the family blog. What I really wanted to say was...

HA - to all the people who scoff at blogs. Blogs serve so many excellent purposes - furthering the flow of information and opinion, celebrating the freedom of expression, keeping in touch more easily and fully with the people you love, passing on life experiences to share the human journey, online journal recording... and PR! I was given the opportunity this weekend to witness it firsthand and I must say...

VIVA LA BLOGOSPHERE!

To all of you who blog, keep up the good work! The world needs to hear what you have to say.

An Aspiring SuperMom's SuperKids

2008-11-19T22:55:00.000-08:00

Halloween blew by me like a corrugated cardboard tornado this year. We'd been in our new home less than a week and I spent way too much time digging madly through boxes for a stray WonderWoman headband. Guess what? Found it last night.

At any rate, the kiddos still looked cute-o in their Superhero costumes (which I subliminally tricked them into begging for this year) so here's a few fun pics:

We kicked off the day by haunting Gardner Village with some neighborhood friends. Everyone else in the entire world was there too. Will visit GV a little earlier in the month next year. Before we headed out that evening Nana (and a friend) came over for dinner and I'm kicking myself for not take pics. Sorry Mom!

Jude, having recently started French lessons with his Grammy, decided to tell all the candy-givers "Merci!". We got a few chuckles and impressed looks, but mostly stunned silence. His "Merci!" sounds alot like "Messy!"

Gabby truly believed she was WonderWoman in this gettup (whereas Jude kept telling people "I am dressed as Superman for Halloween, but I am not actually Superman"). The red boots really put the cuteness factor over the top so Carrie, if you're reading this, Thanks a Bunch!

Merrick rode around in the stroller and yelled baby jibberish whenever Jude and Gabs would say "Trick or Treat!" at a doorfront. He "borrowed" this sucker from Jude's bag, because we did not collect candy for him. The kid's got 6 teeth - it just seemed wrong to hit people up for sweets that would so obviously go right into Mom and Dad's private stash!

The night was ended with a very scary visit to Grandma and Grandpa's house where we tallied our loot!

The Amazing Tale of the Sushi Virgin

2008-11-17T15:18:00.001-08:00

Last week I achieved something I never thought possible:
I officially became less picky than my mother-in-law.

Any of you who have heard my tales of her merciless dinnertime harassment will know that this was a major accomplishment! Furthermore, I did it by eating RAW FISH.
That's right peeps - go ahead and put me on that pedastal.

Let's me be clear about something: I HATE FISH. I hate the smell of fish, the look of fish, the feel of fish - the very thought of fish. It gives me chills. I don't even like swimming in lakes for fear that a fish will rub up against me.

But baby, I LOVE SUSHI!

I have my too-cool sister-in-law and her too-cool husband to thank. They invited Brett and I out to dinner to celebrate our new home, which they helped us buy (they're realtors). When they suggested sushi I'm sure they expected some serious picky-girl protests. But, having been been bullied one too many times for my sensitive palate, I opted for indignant bravery.

OF COURSE I WOULD TRY SUSHI. BRING IT ON!

I'm not gonna lie - I was big time scared. I told myself "anything doused in soy sauce and chased by Coke is edible so just suck it up" but this tiny part of me knew that I would take one bite, feel that slimey, squishy fishyness swimming around inside my mouth and not be able to hold back the puke. Still, it would be worth it to defend my "tough chick" rep as the hardcore wife of a skater punk.

I closed my eyes, clutched my Coke, and brought the chopsticks to my lips (that's right, I used the chopsticks. I told you I'm hardcore!). And then there was nothing but lovely, ricey, cream cheesy goodness! I chewed, I swallowed,

AND I ASKED FOR MORE.

Dude, if you have not tried sushi, please take it from a notoriously selective eater -

SUSHI ROCKS!

And if you want someone to hold your hand through it, call me! I'm totally craving it now!

Unpacked

2008-11-12T22:37:00.001-08:00

Look What I Finally Found!

Ok, we actually unpacked Gabby a long time ago. BUT the cord that hooks the camera to the computer has been MIA for over a month and I've been going nuts!

I'd like to say all the boxes are emtpied, but there are still a few odds and ends that I can't seem to unearth...

But now that the camera cord is back among us, I've got lots to show and tell you!

Stay Tuned!

The Family Business

2008-11-05T15:34:00.000-08:00

It's "twisted perception" confession time:
Sometimes I watch The Godfather and I wish my family was more like that.

All that pasta...all those cannolis...and the most amazing wedding parties this side of Greece (the Greeks' wedding parties are pretty rockin' too)...

Well, it's a beautiful thing.

Now of course I don't want my sibs to go whack people that cheat me out of money or put horse heads in the beds of people who don't give me what I want (if you haven't seen the movie, it's cooler than it sounds). But that kind of allegience, that kind of acceptance and dependability...

Well, it's a beautiful thing.

However, with the shattering of my childhood family I've learned something even more profound:

"Family" is not the people you share blood with - it's the people you share your life with.

I am so grateful for all the family I have in my life (both gene-sharing and non) who join me in celebrating the good and carry me through the bad. And to all of you out there who's heart aches everytime you hear about someone else's 4-generation family reunion or have no one to choke down dry turkey with on Thanksgiving, know that you have the power to create your own "family" full of those who have been the kindest and truest to you.

Feel free to include me! I love you like a sis!

(And I make really good italian food)

Moving Mania

2008-10-27T15:48:00.001-07:00

So we've moved! Things are super chaotic, but very very good.

Just in case, you're curious, here's what the house looks like on the ouside...

And here's what it looks like on the inside.

Ok, ok, both of those pics are a bit of an exaggeration.

I promise some real photos as soon as I find my camera, and the battery charger, and the computer hookup.

Right. Sometime next month.

Here, There and Everywhere

2008-10-22T00:34:00.000-07:00

The title of this post describes the status of our half-packed home, and that's putting it very mildly.

All this month I knew the chaos of moving was looming in front of me, but I told myself I could take it slow, ease out of this house and into the next, while maintaining order and serenity. But it's pretty tough to maintain something you never had.

And now, as I the clock ticks speedily towards moving day and I survey the disaster surrounding me, there's no point in denying it: I'm in over my head here, peeps. Look, I know you all can't drop your lives to rush over and lay the smackdown on my severely mis-managed packing style, but at least impart some wisdom to this "moving virgin"! I need your BEST packing tips,

and I need them fast!

While I wait for your sage advice to roll in, let's cheer ourselves up with a few "great moments" in our time spent

here at the split-level in Sandy:

These are 2005-2007

(because the rest are on the big computer, which IS packed)

We moved in when Jude was just a flutter in my stomach. He was the first of three babies to be brought home here and all his baby "firsts" have been here, including the first steps (seen above).

Just thought I'd show off the awesome brown shag we rolled around on for 3 years before it wore through completely and our landlord hooked us up with some new threads. Lots of fun times on that floor...

Also many good memories in the kitchen, where I indulged my bake-aholic tendencies. Jude was a happy little helper (and taster).

And then we brought Gabrielle home...

And fast friendships were made...

Elbows were broken...

Good Morning kisses were given out by the handful...

There were afternoon naps...

And some very hot days... (a west facing, split-entry with vaulted ceilings is pretty much a human oven)

There was the bumper cucumber crop of 2006...

Countless storytimes...

Some totally rockin' birthday parties (this pic is right after the infamous train party, but there was also a bug party, truck party, zoo party, and a luau. Not to mention all the potty parties...)

And lots and lots of tubbies.

And then we brought Merrick home, and our little family felt temporarily complete.

Sigh. All that living - if these wood-pannelled walls could talk!

Resolution Check-In - The Home Stretch

2008-10-20T01:30:00.000-07:00

This is not going to be pretty, I can guarantee you.

I honestly don't know what happened. I started out the year all full of vim (vim? yup. it means "a lively or energetic spirit", not some sort of beverage, as I thought at one time. Though I probably was also full of beverage on New Year's Eve, chugging Coke to keep my sleep-starved body awake til midnight so I can be the only one in my family to go outside in the snow and bang a spoon on a pot for kicks. but I digress...) - anyways, full of vim and determined to get these four seemingly simple goals under my belt.

And now we're nearing the end, the holidays barrelling towards us with the tricks and the turkeys and the ho ho hos - and I'm not even close to nailing down these buggers! I may have even moved backwards on a few of them!

See for yourself - it's shameful, really...

Res. #1 - No Library Fines. Let's just say that the Library Police are hot on my trail. I'm pretty sure they've started circulating my photo because I've been getting some funny glances from the storytime lady lately (couldn't possibly be that my 2 yr. old was sporting a magic-marker-mustache last week). Why can't I just return things on time?!?! I'm starting to feel like this is some sort of illness. Maybe there's a support group I can join? The Library Abuse Must End Reach-out? LAMER? Could I be any lamer?

Res. #2 - Become a Morning Person. Ok I've successfully moved my "up and going" time back about 1/2 hour but the sun is still rising long before I am. Plus, most mornings I get up when the babies do and doze off again while snuggling them in front of PBS cartoons. Is it MY fault that my children are so cuddly and "Sid the Science Kid" is so snooze-arific?

Res. #3 - Write More Thank You Notes. I would like to pat myself on the back a little here because I have taken some steps in the right direction with this one. For instance, I purchased some super cute Thank You cards from Target and have them sitting on my nightstand. I also bought a book of stamps while at the post office the other day. I now feel totally prepared to make great strides on this goal. Soon. Real soon.

Res. #4 - Get Involved. Currently my evenings are consumed with packing, packing, PACKING and will soon consist of unpacking, unpacking, UNPACKING. However, I did spend a week on SuperMom Central blogging about ways to be more Earth Friendly as a family and also researched and recommended some great places to shop for kiddo clothes that donate a portion of their proceeds to charity. I'm spreadin' the word, right? I'm gonna count it. But seriously - Red Cross before the year is out. For reals.

So as you can see, I'm kinda failing with whole Resolution gig right now. This check-in has kicked my butt.

However, Gabby is officially potty trained!
Don't I get to turn that in for some sort of credit?

Two Little Words

2008-10-15T23:12:00.001-07:00

I have recently learned a little secret that I wish I'd figured out years ago. It took alot of mistake-making, feelings-hurting, friend-losing and self-kicking for me to finally grasp such a simple and beautiful concept. And in the end it was the example of a sweet friend of mine that finally drove the message home. It all centers around two very simple little words:

I'm Sorry.

Or the even-more-humbling version:

I Screwed Up And I'm Sorry.

Cuz the harsh truth is, We All Screw Up. We're human and therefore prone to insecurity, self-centeredness and general idiocy. And so we all screw up. Surprisingly, that fact is really not that important. What's critical, is what we DO when we screw up. Do we back-track? Do we defend our idiocy? Do we pretend we're perfect and hope our idiocy just fades away? Or do we suck it up and just say it:

I Screwed Up And I'm Sorry

You'd be amazed at how freeing those words are! To admit to your mistake and do what you can to make it right seems SO HARD but once you do it, the burden off your shoulders is astounding. I've spent way too much time silently beating myself up for all the dumb mistakes I've make - (when you talk as much as I do, you tend to stick your foot in your perpetually open mouth way too often). I've lain awake at night, wracked with guilt for my inadvertant idiocy. Ripping myself to shreds with regrets.

But rarely willing to own it and fix it.

I'm finally figuring out that the more I say it, the easier it gets and the better it feels. When I genuinely apologize and work to heal the hurt I deal, I like myself alot more. I'm also realizing that I don't have to be the perfect friend, daughter, sister, wife, etc. Sure, it's good to shoot for that, but mistakes are part of life and when I fall short I don't need to hide my face. I just need those two little words and a desire to keep trying.

Why didn't someone tell me this before now?

(I know Mom, you DID tell me years ago.

And I blew you off and didn't listen.

I screwed up, and I'm sorry.)

Torture Chamber (aka The Gym)

2008-09-30T08:27:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had a Best Friend that was also your Worst Enemy?

I do. It's name is "Elliptical Machine".

We met for the first time last night at the gym, while I was giving the evil eye to my former arch nemesis, The Treadmill. I knew it was meant to be because EM was sitting right in front of the monitor showing "The Simpsons". This my scientific method for choosing an exercise plan - which gym entertainment option offers the most distraction from the ensuing pain.

Anyways, I thought I'd just have a quick go at the EM - 30 minutes later I'd had a rockin' workout and felt great! I came home with a renewed feeling of hope for future workouts and a burning love in my heart for the EM.

Then I woke up this morning. In pain. Lots of and lots of pain.

To be honest, I'm totally embarassed to admit all of this because it tells you all just how out-of-shape I am. Oh well. As if you didn't already know. And if you should run into me in the next day or so, don't ask why I'm hobbling. Or whimpering. Or trying to buy illegal pain killers. (just kidding on that last one, Mom)

No worries - EM and I are not through. I will not be accused of having a one-nighter with my exercise equipment. EM still has a chance of getting in my good graces, unlike Treadmill, which exacts it's torture both during and after the workout and will forever be known as

Death on a Moving Belt.

Watch out, Elliptical Machine. As soon as I can feel my toes, I'm getting back on.

Perspective

2008-09-25T22:34:00.001-07:00

Ohhhhhhhhhh Perspective. How you kicked me in the teeth when I tried to throw the "poor me" pity party. How you thrust the mirror in my face so I could see my apathy more clearly. How you humbled me.

Ahhhhhhhhhh Perspective. And now I find myself fallen to my knees, so very thankful for all I have. I find renewed desire to cherish the small moments more often, both good a bad, and live more fully in the present. I find myself awakenned.

And yet it always seems to slip away so easily.

It's embarassing how quickly I tend to forget the difficulties so many struggle with - and all the wonderful blessings I enjoy. I walk each day surrounded by angels (both on earth and otherwise) and miss so many opportunities to show my gratitude.

Earlier this week I learned of a neighbor who's daughter passed away, leaving 6 little ones behind. A few hours later I found out that an acquaitance just discovered that her young child has cancer. And not long after that I spoke to a friend who is struggling with major marital problems.

That's when Perspective came pounding at the door. Suddenly my broken phone and nagging headaches seem so trivial. Kiddos with colds, no time for the gym, insensitive family members- it all means nothing in comparison to the joy and love I receive. And I find myself flooded with gratitude for each and every day of my tiny little life.

Sweet, sweet Perspective. How do I keep you around?

So Very Tagged

2008-09-10T11:07:00.000-07:00

Can I tell you how much I LUV the blogworld? I got the very same tag by two different, totally unrelated people, both of which I have never met! So cool! For a busy mom who doesn't get out much, this is such an awesome way to make new friends.

The first girl who tagged me is one of my personal blog-heros, Andrea from 4 under 4. That's right, peeps - she's got 4 little cuties under 4 years old and everytime I read her darling blog I just want to give the woman a medal!

The second tagger is the totally clever Laurin, from Laurin and Kelly Talk - one of the most charming blogs around! Whenever I read their posts I feel like I'm having hot chocolate with a couple of girlfriends.

They both passed on to me the "Six Unspectacular Quirks" tag so brace yourselves, cuz I'm pretty darn unspectacular.

1 - I'm in the process of reading 7 different books. This is business as usual for me. I'm a very tempermental reader and look to books to fulfill many of my emotional needs. So if I'm needing a little intellectual stimulation, I've got a historical non-fiction ready and waiting. If the weight of the world is getting me down, I grab a flighty novel about girls who like to shop or break-up with their boyfriends. If daily routine has got me bored, I delve into a murder mystery. My nightstand is piled high with half-finished paperbacks!

2 - I have a secret crush on Rick Steves. Please don't say "Who is Rick Steves?"! Every so often, usually late at night, he enters my bedroom and whisks me away to Europe where we eat fresh strawberries from the local markets, stay in quaint little B&B's and spend way to much time wandering through obscure art galleries. He is my ticket out of here, ladies, when life gets me down. When I've stepped on one too many cheerios I simply turn on his show, "Travels in Europe with Rick Steves" and suddenly I'm zipping through the French countryside on the TGV or wiggling my toes in the sand of a remote beach on the coast of Greece. He so down-to-earth, so thrifty, so fascinated with history - can I help it that he makes my heart go pitter patter?

3 - I've always wanted to dye bright red streaks into my hair, just to be cool. I really admire girls who get bold with haircolor - somehow it translates into an air of independence that I find impressive. I'm seriously thinking about doing it right before we move, to scare the pants off the new neighbors. Do I dare?

4 - I both pity and envy smokers. I know, I know, that's just crazy talk. But what most of you don't know is that I had one wild summer in my otherwise pedestrian life and during that time I used to bum cigarettes off cute guys as a way of starting a conversation. It was a purely social thing, done only at parties and bars and such (worked like a charm!). And yet, when I came to my senses and quit all that nonsense, I had no trouble leaving all the other "substances" behind. But for months afterwards, whenever I would see someone smoking I felt pangs of jealousy. It was shocking to me! I share this with all of you only because I think it is a testament to how unbelievably addicting cigarettes are. When I worked in Radiation Therapy at the hospital (before the wild child days) I would see lung cancer patients come in reeking of smoke and wonder what in the world was the matter with them. Here they are, dying a very painful death, and they still can't put down the freakin' cigarette. But after having personal experience with it, I just feel so sad for people who get hard-core hooked. It's much easier to do than you might think.

5 - I wanted to be an astronaut. Correction - I still want to be an astronaut. I was pretty intent on it for awhile. As a kid I used to visit NASA's website all the time, reading up on missions and internship opportunities. Sometimes, I still do. Practically, I know it will never happen. I'm seriously claustrophobic (among plenty of other roadblocks like children and disappearing wastlines). But I can't imagine a more amazing site than to look down at our beautiful earth from above. I want to see that before I die.

6 - For reals. It's 1:41 am. My brain is fried. There is no #6. Sorry.

And now for the fun part...

these girls can consider themselves officially tagged:

Alyssa Wahlquist, Jen Rogers, Melissa Marti, Rachel Holloway, Dana Broderick and Tiffany Simmons

Don't forget to follow the tag rules for this one:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Looking forward to all your quirky confessions!

Camera Crush

2008-09-09T12:59:00.001-07:00

Ok Peeps, I've finally got some quality time scheduled with my new favorite toy, the Fuji Finepix. Can I tell you how beautiful it is with it's wide lens, flip-up flash and many many shiny buttons (none of which I know how to work)? When we saw eachother at Costco it was love and first sight. And seeing as how our old-school dig. kicked the bucket for good a couple weeks ago and I was feeling a little naked without a camera in hand, I truly felt it was meant to be.

I'm sure this lack-of-camera issue has contributed to my blog-neglect, having been unable to photo-journal the haps around here for so long. NEVER FEAR! I shall be back to posting pics of the cuties and telling tale of all their potty-centered discussions very very soon.

In the meantime, this camera and all it's spectacular whistles and bells is a bit overwhelming, not to mention quite baffling. I really ought to take a class but seriously, if you could see my to-do list you'd have have a mini panic attack (I'm having one right now). I just want to take lovely shots of my family and my life. I need some insider tips. Help!

What are your best tips or favorite techniques for getting good home photos?

3 am

2008-08-30T02:30:00.001-07:00

It's very late (or very early) and I find myself in moody mood.

It looks like we've found our home. We saw it first last Saturday, put together an offer on Monday, it was accepted Tuesday, and the inspection went off today with barely a hitch.

So quickly my world is rearranging itself! It's overwhelming, to say the least.

At the urging of a friend on my other blog, I spent a few minutes tonight organizing some family pics. With the past five years laid before me in photo I fought to grasp the sum of it. We are in the middle of our story and I longed to skip to the end of the book and find out how it all turns out. But more than that, I longed to return to those moments, put the camera down and enter the world.

Mourning the days already gone and feeling the future powering towards me at an incredible speed - how do I remain in the moment? I want to live my days fully. I want to be present.

Blog Ammends

2008-08-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

Oh Poor Neglected Blog! Can you ever forgive me for my long silence? My casual abandonment? What can I say? It's not you, it's me! I thought I wasn't ready for a commitment. I needed some time to think things over - get my life straightenned out. Figure out what I wanted.

And blog, sweet blog, I want you. I want you in my world. My life needs journalling, my kids need their pedastal, and I need an outlet to vent, rant, ramble, snark, soapbox, diatribe, lecture, laugh, and make sure that life does not pass me by unnoticed.

It was nothing personal - I swear it. You've been a great blog. A model blog. Really. No blogger could ask for more. Things have just been a bit crazy lately. Here - let me catch you up:

During the Month of August I...

- Went on 2 family vacations (lots of packing, lots of fun, lots of bug bites)

- Had my best friend and my best sister in town (more fun than I deserve - love you girls!)

- Started guitar lessons (if Brett won't, then I will)

- Joined the gym (let's face it - this was way overdue)

- Broke my computer (no pic transfers for almost 3 weeks)

- Broke my camera (yet to be fixed – totally stressing me out)

- Broke my cell phone (a bigger trauma for my mother than for me)

- Enjoyed some summer fun (swimming, camping, concerts, farmer's markets)

- Went back to school (that elusive Associates will be mine in December!)

- Tried to patch a family fight (I'm such a little busybody)

- Watched lots of Olympics (and loved it!)

- House-hunted, fought with my hubby about house-hunting, quit house-hunting, and then started up house-hunting again (this was seriously traumatic but it's all good now. Wish us luck!)

Add that list to all the usual stuff – changed 240 diapers, sang 490 lullabyes, did 24 loads of laundry, made 36 PB & J’s, attended 13 playdates and pulled 112 random bits out of Merrick’s mouth (keeping that kid from choking is a full-time job).

Take pity on me, forgive me, benevolent blog, and I swear I’ll never leave you again.

***To all my bloggy friends - You are just the nicest bunch of people and I've been totally lame. Know that I've missed every single one of your blogs and will be visiting shortly to make ammends. Thanks for caring.

Saving the Marriage

2008-07-23T08:41:00.000-07:00

To my sweet, Non-Rockstar Husband,

I'm thinking it is time to enroll you in some guitar lessons. Because the other night this boy tried to steal my heart away:

I was sitting so close to the stage that I actually saw him mouth the words "I Love You Lauren" and for a VERY BRIEF second I thought I might love him back. But really, it was just the guitar. Take a beautiful six-string and make it sing and I'm putty.

Look, hon, it's not your fault that your mom put you in violin lessons instead of guitar. There's no way she could have seen into the future and known my weakness. And for the record, it's very cute when you play the violin. But just doesn't have that "Oh Baby!" factor.

Yes, your skateboarding counts for something. It's very cool. But can you serenade me with the skateboard? I didn't think so.

I'll hold off Mr. Mayer's advances as long as I can but I'm begging you, hon - PLEASE PICK UP THE GUITAR. In exchange, I promise to have a go at snowboarding this winter, so that you can end the little tryst you've had going for several years now with Gretchen Blieler.

(You thought I didn't know!)

Resolution Check In - The Halfway Mark

2008-07-15T15:12:00.001-07:00

Oh my. It's obvious that I should be doing this WAY more often. Back at the end of Jan. I posted my New Year's Resolutions and how the first month of the year had gone. I had hoped to do this each month to keep myself on track but life has taken me on a few wild rides and these poor little, well-meaning resolutions have totally gotten the shaft.

WELL NO MORE! As humbling as this is going to be, I am posting my Resolution Check-In below and vowing that this time next month I will have better news to report.

1 - No Library Fines. Suck. I kept this up nicely for a whole 3 months. Then in April I racked up a HUGE fine and have been mortified to go back ever since. I finally got up my courage last night and handed them the money I owed without arguement (which they promptly used to fund a whole new wing of the library - Ok, it wasn't quite that bad but seriously - it was bad). I had considered trying to wheel and deal them (my cousin had lots of success with this recently) but in the Resolution Spirit of trying to improve myself I figured I better just take my lumps.

2 - Become a Morning Person. There's been definite, if not shaky progress here. Brett's been rolling my sleepy buns out of bed at 6:30 the past few months so that I can exercise before the kids get up. Most mornings I rise, but refuse to shine. Unfortunately, some inflammatory arthritis (what am I - 80?) set me back for awhile because it was so stiff in the mornings that I hobbled around for the first two hours of the day. Dr. Magic gave me Magic pills that Magically fixed the knee (trashed my hair, kept me up all night and packed 5 lbs. onto my hips, but still...) and I'm back in business. So I'm gonna keep at it with the hopes that someday soon I'll be springing out of bed bright and early with a Brooke Shields smile on my face.

3 - Write More Thank You Notes. While I have increased my "thank you's", I find that I've somehow subconsciously made a trade - I now routinely forget birthdays. This is not OK, seeing as how I'm the type of person that wants a PARADE thrown on my birthday and have always justified it by claiming that I'm the parade-thrower on everyone else's special day. So there's some improvement to do all-around on my snail-mail output.

***Throw me a bone here, peeps. Please tell me when all your birthdays are so I can set up some sort of "reminder" calendar. And if I like your spouses/kids/pets, tell me theirs too.

4 - Get Involved. OK, so I haven't joined MWOB or the Red Cross like I had originally intended. Thanks to our church callings, Brett and I have found our evenings majorly tied up. However, they just released me from YW so I'm hoping to dedicate my newfound freedom to gettin' on that. In the meantime, does my SuperMom blog count? I'm kinda thinking it does because I started it in hopes of helping other moms like me, who could use a place to go for camraderie and tips to make parenting easier and more fun. That's putting something good out in the world, right? Well I'm going to count it. But I've still got my eye on the Red Cross...

So there you have it. I feel like I've stripped down naked for y'all, what with all these humiliating confessions about my unsucessfulness. But hopefully this will light a fire under me to GET GOING!

What are you Resolutions and how are they going? Share and be motivated!

A Quick Thought About Gender Roles

2008-07-10T01:30:00.000-07:00

The other day we were wrapping up a pediatrician's appointment with a rummage through the "thanks for not throwing a tantrum" sticker box. Gabby immediately snatched up a SpiderMan sticker (who has yet to make an appearance in our home so I don't know what drew her to him) while Jude quickly followed by fishing out The Little Mermaid (ha - no pun intended). I laughed and said "That' s my gender confused kids!" to the nurse, who obviously didn't see the high comedy presented by my childrens' sticker selections.

It got me thinking about the roles we impose upon young kids and the limitations those roles tend to dictate. I actually love the fact that my son does not understand that princesses are "Girly", nor does he associate anything negative with that word. Same goes for Gabs. We spent last weekend at the cabin and one hot afternoon I found her out on the porch plowing through imaginary construction sites with Brett's old trucks. I took about a million pics because I was so charmed by the image of my daughter sitting in her pink shirt and Sleeping Beauty undies, hair full of braids and flower clips, driving a cement mixer around like she's tough as nails.

For the most part, our young children are blank canvases. We have the first five precious years of their life to foster their love of all living things (with all their differences) before they head off into the increasingly un-innocent land of elementary school to be bullied into the prejudices and stereotypes that plague our world.

Let's dedicate ourselves, as parents, to spending those first few years teaching our children that they can be anything they want to be! Let's expose them to all the uplifting and wonderful things life has to offer, without regard to their gender or any other labels. Let's nurture their creative identities and give them a sense of unconditional love - that no matter who they are,
they are of worth.

The Cupcake Hall of Fame

2008-07-06T22:37:00.000-07:00

If you've ever been to a party at my place, you probably have figured out that I tend to dream big and then fall short on the delivery. There are countless hostessing flops in my repertoire, including the all-blue appetizers no one would eat (in honor of the fact that I had just found out I was having a baby boy), the Girls' Night facial masks (made of oatmeal, egg and some other stuff) no one dared put on their faces, and the "bug" party hats that kept getting stuck in people's hair.

It is with those failures in mind that I feel justified in showing off just a little bit. Because peeps, MY ANIMAL PARTY CUPCAKES ROCKED! Check out their cupcakey-cuteness!

Furthermore, they were unbelievably easy. I'm gonna post a "how to" on them this week on SuperMom Central, in case you're interested.

And while you're there, PLEASE enter the giveaway we've got going on! In my posession are TWO $25 Gift Certificates to this totally darling store called "Warm Biscuit" and I'm just dyin' to see them go to good homes.

God's Gift to Stay At Home Moms...

2008-07-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

Not to sound like Brooke Shields (and her blindingly white teeth), but my day starts at the crack of dawn and ends the next day at the crack of dawn. As a SAHM mom to 3 underage toddlers (that's under SCHOOL age) there are things you just accept that you must go without from time to time. Sleep, hot meals, privacy, showers, rock music, dangly earrings, etc. But there are small mercies along the way that do their best to make up for your sacrifices and help you cling to your sanity. Here is my SAHM gratitude list:

1 - Mother's Helpers: teenage girls who are too young to get real jobs, but old enough to change diapers without being asked. I ADORE mine. Her name is Tanya and she brings treats, makes up games and somehow manages to clean up my trashed house at the same time! Yes, she's magical. I swept the floor, showered (before noon!), and watched 10 whole minutes of Wimbledon today while she played with the kids in the backyard. MAGICAL.

2 - Rachel Ray: She happens to be cooking up a storm on my TV about the same time that Merrick takes his morning bottle so I get to sneak in a few minutes of RR time every so often. She's SO COOL! Her food inspires me to disown my microwave and she has all sorts of fun, unfoody segments about fashion, home decor, girly tips, etc. She's my TV BFF. And I'd like to think that I'm hers.

3 - Coke: I do my best to swear off this nasty, drain-unclogging stuff when I'm preggo/nursing but now that it's just my body I'm abusing, BRING ON THE CAFFEINE. Since Merrick (my third) was born, I've experienced sleep deprivation on a whole new level because my oldest has stopped napping. So it's go, go, GO all day long and dang if I don't love the magical way Coke transforms me from "cranky, exhausted, stressed out mommy" to "fun, energetic, happy mommy". In my defense, I drink the teeny little midget cans and I keep them in my cupboard so that they're warm. This way I've got to REALLY want one before I indulge.

4 - The Mommy Blogosphere: What an awesome community of supportive, intelligent, super-friendly women! The bloggers I read make me laugh, make me cry, and make me feel less alone in this amazing yet unforgiving job called Motherhood. Having blogs to write and read has helped pulled me out of the deep depression I was losing myself to this past winter. Thank you to all of you (you know who you are).

So what are you grateful for today?

The Phantom Wee

2008-06-28T23:29:00.000-07:00

My husband has been unsuccessfully trying to potty train Gabby.

There are a few words in that sentence that are extra important so let me say it again with emphasis.

My HUSBAND has been UNSUCCESSFULLY trying to potty train Gabby.

And what am I doing? I'm honing my passive-aggressive skills into a fine and clever little talent as I peevishly watch from the sidelines. I did not think she was ready to potty train. I did not agree with the method in which he went about the potty training. However, I was OUT OF TOWN when he started this whole business so obviously he does not need my help. I cheer for Gabs when she succeeds, and tell her "no big deal" when she does not.

But things are getting a little out of control. She's not just having random accidents and then announcing her wetness to the world so we can take care of things. She appears to be sneaking off, doing her thing in odd places and then hiding the evidence.

For instance: Tonight while I was making dinner, she wandered into the kitchen all bare-bummed (but still wearing the Cinderella high heels she had put on earlier) and acting like nothing had happened. I say "Gabby, where are your Hello Kitty undies?" She shrugs, very nonchalant, like they just wandered off and frankly, good riddance. I can't get her to 'fess up. Oh well. I'll make Daddy find them when he gets home. She's enjoying her nudey freedom so I don't suggest she put on a fresh pair. Live and let live. That's my motto.

A few minutes later, I nearly kill myself slipping in this puddle (on the floor of the boys bedroom, of all places) -

The Hello Kitty undies were found around the corner. Clever girl. Not even a CSI could pin this one on her.

Fast forward an hour. Daddy has insisted that now the My Little Pony undies must be worn. One minute Gabby is dancing around the living room singing and shaking her cartoon-covered tush, the next she has gone bare-back once again - stomping through the kitchen this time in MY running shoes. I don't even ask. When my shoes are abandoned I walk into my bedroom to put them away and right as I step towards my closet...SQUISH. My heel sinks into wet, wee-wee carpet. Pony undies on the other side of the bed (again with the separation of crime scene and evidence - it's impressive for a 2 year old!).

Meanwhile, Daddy has produced Ariel undies and we start this magical game all over again. Daddy is getting frustrated. I'm gettting smug. Poor Gabs is getting sneakier each day. This cannot end well.

Starting Them Early

2008-06-27T01:12:00.000-07:00

I don't do this often, but every once in awhile one of my kiddos comes out with a GEM that I must share with the world. When these pearls of childhood entertainment come from Jude, I like to call them

Jude-isms (not to be confused with Judaism. not that there's anything wrong with that.)

So I'm closing the bedtime story we had just finished and out of the blue he says this:

Jude: "Mom, when Gabby and I get married, how will I know how to get to the wedding?"

(I set aside the "we're not Appalachians" discussion about sibling marriage for just a moment)

Me: "Well, I'll show you the way to the wedding"

Jude: (obviously relieved) "Good. Cuz I only know how to get to Rylan's house and Kyler's house and Target."

AND TARGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He's FOUR, ladies and gentleman, and already the kid's got his priorities straight. I'm not sure whether to be proud or exceedingly embarassed.

Look - I've made no secret of the fact that if a person could marry a store, Brett would be out on his butt and Target and I would live happily ever after. Well, that's a little harsh. I'm sure the three of us could work out some sort of forward-thinking, alternative-lifestyle arrangement...

And I'm not alone. One of my favorite blogs to stalk, Mama's Losin' It, roped me in as a life-long reader with her post "Dear Target" which you MUST read.

However, I guess I didn't realize that my little Jude was following so closely in his mother's shopaholic footsteps! Ack!

And now on to the bigger issue - figuring out how to tell him he can't marry Gabby, who he explained was his "Best Sister". Love this kid.

Fancy Pants

2008-06-23T19:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. The kids played my very favorite game: Dress Ups.

I love this because not only do the creative juices fly, but we come up with the funniest games to play, based on the costumes chosen. This one involved an obstacle course, complete with "Feats of Strength", "Dexterity Challenges" and a pit stop where the only task is to "Make the Loudest Noise Possible"!

Here's the best part - not only do I get to be totally silly with them, I feel like I'm showing them that they can be ANYTHING they imagine themselves to be! I hope they learn that when it comes to dreaming big, there are no rules, no boundaries, and no judgements. The world could use more people in it like that, if you ask me. So I'm just gonna sit here and pat myself on the back for a few minutes... (indulge me, please, because a week ago I was in tears over the fact that we'd watched 3 full-length Disney movies in one day. Some days ya got it, some days ya don't...)

Too Much To Ask?

2008-06-21T23:34:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Will there ever be a time when my toilet paper roll doesn't look like this? I don't feel like I'm asking for much here.

And while we're at it, there's a few other small favors I'd like to ask of my kids:

- Maybe you could not announce "mommy's going to the potty" as I'm making my way down the aisle during church?

- Should you encounter me folding laundry, please just keep moving. Did you know that my neatly stacked towels are not your playground?

-If you should happen upon my make-up bag, could you just apply the lipstick and move on? Must you jam your finger into it and rub your hands all over my new quilt?

- When sharing a drink with me, could we keep the backwashed floaties to a minimum?

- Is there some sort of arrangement we can come to so that I can pee in private every once in awhile?

These are my humble mommy requests and let's be honest - I'm make huge concessions here.

I wipe your bums. I bandage your booboos. If you vomit, do I not clean it up with a smile on my face? Pediatricians visits, late-night wet sheet changes, zoo trips, heart-shaped pancakes, nursing bras, birthday parties, crust-less bread, and a Gymboree bill that rivals our utilities payment. This is what I offer in exchange!

Jude, Gabs, Mer - this is a good deal. Take it.

Parties, Parties and more parties

2008-06-20T21:36:00.000-07:00

My little Merrick turned one this week (sigh!) and with the family situation the way it is I wasn't able to pull together the usual Blowout Bash that I love throwing for that momentous first birthday.

However, my sweet mom did a combo Father's Day/Happy Birthday Merrick dinner in her STUNNING backyard and it really meant alot to me.

Best Pals, Daddy and Jude

Uncles and Aunties relaxing under the trees

(note the cute decorations!)

The Birthday Boy, passed out with his new woobie (thanks, Nana!)

When the OFFICIAL DAY rolled around (Wed., June 18th) I was a bit moody about the whole thing - looking back at this past year still smarts sometimes and I find myself struggling to disconnect all this junk with my parents from the wonderful experiences I've had in other parts of my life (like with my sweet little guy). Anyways, I think Brett sensed my mood when, over IM, I said "Happy Birthday Merrick" and he replied "Yeah" and I was like "What the hell does that mean?" I needed to CELEBRATE! I needed people to get excited with me - to put Merrick up on a pedastal as the shining bright spot in all the muck we've travelled through this year. So I hauled the kids to Walmart and we went crazy - pizza, cake, decorations, presents, the works. And when Brett showed up that night he surprised us with his own party contributions - noise makers, hats, and poppers! I was so pleased!

The party that ensued, with just the 5 of us, was simple and precious. I can't tell you how much solace my soul has found in the love and joy our little family has together. Having these four to walk the world with me is a blessing beyond measure. And look at how much fun we have!

Jude and I worked so hard on our card

The whole partyin' crew (looks like a wild time, eh?)

And then things got a little out of control...

Chocolate Aversion Therapy, as provided by the birthday boy

All cleaned up again and playing with the streamers

I don't want to leave out the fact that the Horsley's and my dad's side of the fam have future party plans so there's still plenty of Merrick-worship ahead of us.

I stumbled on to a cute blog recently where a fun 1st Birthday Blog Bash is being thrown for a little darling named Buttercup! Happy Birthday, Girl! Hope your day is as great as Merrick's was! Her Bloggin' Mommy is giving away all kinds of fun prizes in honor of the big event - check out Berrie Sweet Picks blog to learn more (or click on the link in my sidebar).

Totstitutes

2008-06-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

Found this hilarious yet oh-so-true blogpost about the fashion trends in girl's clothing -

http://sunshineandlemonade.blogspot.com/2008/06/open-letter-to-clothing-designers-and.html The author (totally funny momblogger) has coined the phrase "Totstitutes" to describe the way poor young girls are primped and pimped in children's clothing ads.

And she's right! It doesn't matter where you shop - you can't get away from them. 4 year olds all hoochie-mama'd up for their big Children's Place photo shoot (or where ever), complete with lipstick, dangly earrings, platform shoes and hair teased so tall it doubles their heighth! I am so tired of people dressing their little girls like Preschool Popstars and even more exhausted by the thought of hunting for clothing to put on my daughter that doesn't scream "NYC street corner".

It makes me want to bubble wrap Gabby til she's 23. Wait, 25. Ok, 29. I'm 29. That's a mature age.

How can we get this toddler-trash-togs train turned around?

Mismatched

2008-06-12T23:31:00.000-07:00

Ok - most of the time I think Brett and I are so wonderfully compatible. In fact I've been amazed at how our friendship has grown and deepened because we love spending time together and continue to share so many common interests. But tonight...things are definitely amiss.

I am sitting here, dutifully blogging about Mommy-ness for Supermom Central and where is my sweet husband?

In the bedroom, watching "Alien vs. Predator". For real. Maybe the dumbest movie ever conceived in some addled Hollywood brain, which is saying alot considering stellar silverscreen gems like "Blast From the Past", "Air Bud" and "Snakes on a Plane".

What's worse - a moment ago I heared him hollar at the TV screen, like he was cheering on his favorite basketball team's 3 pointer from half court. The TV screen responded with an unearthly screech, assumedly emitted from an Alien or a Predator.

How can I sleep next to a person who gets THAT excited over the clash of the two lamest movie villains of all time? It's like I don't even know who he is sometimes.

Colds, Coughs, Ear Infections, Fevers, Croup, and a touch of Tonsilitis

2008-06-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure the CDC (Center for Disease Control) is currently donning rubber suits and gas masks in preparation for raiding our home and declaring it a Level 3 Biohazard. There are so many germs flying around this house right now it is like a big, badly-decorated petri dish! Brett's going 2 weeks with an ear infection, I've got a killer cold that has antagonized my famously sensitive left tonsil, Jude has coughing fits so bad that he puked all over his bed the other night, Gabby's little voice has morphed into that of a 50-year-old-lifelong-smoker thanks to a wicked upper-respiratory infection, and Merrick was up half the night barking like a dog and battling a raging fever.

I'm not complaining. Oh no. Just informing the general public to stay well away from this Hotbed of Misery.

Alpha Gamma Slugga

2008-06-05T11:11:00.001-07:00

I just spent a good 20 minutes armed with a kitchen knife and and a salt shaker, trying to protect my poor flowerbeds! But no matter what I do, the stupid, slimey, nasty, greedy, disgusting, oozy, wretched snails are behaving like FRAT BOYS in my garden - partyin' all night long, getting all fat and drunk and mistreating all my innocent, pretty little flowers, then crawling into some dark corner to pass out before the sun comes up.

I'm not sure that I could hate anything more than I hate snails. Seriously.

Aimee, I know I vowed to not complain, but this doesn't count, right? I'm not griping about Democrats or my obnoxious neighbors or something like that. THESE HORRID, PARASITIC SNAILS ARE AN EXCEPTION. I'm sure of it.

Besides, the point of this post is not to vent. It's to beg all you green thumbs out there to put me out of my misery and tell me how to end this snailfest. PLEASE! Any and all advice is welcome and greatly appreciated.

Who loves free stuff and good sales?

2008-05-31T07:34:00.001-07:00

I totally forgot to mention to everyone that my other blog, SuperMom Central is having an awesome GIVEAWAY right now! A few months back, while hunting for some fun tights for Gabby, I found this darling online shop, Tote and Tee. Turns out it's run by this really sweet stay-at-home-mom Amy who hand-makes every tee and just has a great eye for cute kiddo stuff. She offered to giveaway one of her darling custom-made tee shirts on my blog so everyone should come visit and enter to win! While you're at it, she's also offering all my SuperMom readers a %20 discount on all purchases through June 2nd. So nice, eh? But here's a little secret: she's already got everything on sale for the month of May so if you combine the discounts you get wicked good deals on some super cute, unique stuff for all the great kiddos in your life (hint hint, mother-in-law) :)

Photo Flood

2008-05-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

I'm apologizing in advance for this onslaught of pics from the last month. We've had lots of fun things going on and I've gone photo-crazy as usual.

I want to start with Mother's Day because it was simply sublime. I spent Saturday being pampered by both husband and children. That night Brett took me to this great place to hear a Blue's band play while my mom earned her title as SUPERNANA by babysitting til 1 am!

On Sunday we spent the morning/afternoon with Mom, having a yummy lunch and relaxing in her beautiful backyard - soaking in the hottub, exploring nature, impromptu baseball games, chocolate ice cream, etc. It was one of those picture-perfect days that I know I will always remember. Then it was off to visit Brett's mom & fam - more fabulous food, more outdoor fun! Here are the highlights, the slideshow just below this post will have the full photo spread.

Mommy and Gabs fresh from the hottub

Merrick's first taste of chocolate ice cream

Gabby in the Grass

Action-packed baseball game

Sweet Little Feet

Supernana and her side-kick, Molly

First Rookie Card Pic

Flower Girl

More baseball at the Horsley's

Cuddles with Aunt Nettie

Girlfriends!

Mother's Day 2008

2008-05-30T13:20:00.000-07:00

Lovin' My Mommy Blog

2008-05-23T10:42:00.001-07:00

Hey! So there are some exciting things happening over at SuperMom Central, just in case you're interested. First off, my awesome sister Lynsey posted a recipe for homemade diaper wipes that are eco-friendly, mom-friendly and EXTRA baby-bum-friendly. She is the super-est mom I know, so I'm so glad she was willing to share some of her mommy secrets over there.

Secondly, I recently stumbled upon a great Etsy shop called Baby Momo! Their stuff is so darling that I had to do a review of it at Supermom - and the seller, Jennifer, has offered free shipping for all readers! So cool. Here's a pic of Gabs loungin' in her Kyoto Lounge pants from Baby Momo:

And last, but certainly not least, I happened to be on another bloggers' mommy site doing some
reading when I noticed this:

It's kinda hard to tell, but basically this is a window called "From the Blogosphere" that shows the latest postings on different blogs - top of the list there was Lynsey's wipe post on SuperMom Central! I nearly wet myself when I saw it. The thing is, I started this mommy blog to create a forum where moms could share their best tips and learn from one another. I'm so pleased that the word is getting out because I really think this could be helpful to many (it's already been very helpful to me in my own mothering!). It's just fun to see how it's growing! Thanks to all who support me in it and check it out every so often. I'm wishing you lots of good karma.

Bathroom Adventures

2008-05-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

Gabby and Jude are in a bit of a competition these days - a FLUSHING competition. Any time someone uses the potty they beg to be the "flusher" and then brag to the other one about said flush. This morning I realized this little game has turned into quite the obsession. Here's what happened:

I had used the restroom and, surprisingly, flushed all by myself. Jude came running in and said "Mom! Can I do your flush?"

I explained that the opportunity had passed him by, but he could have first dibs next time.

He said "Awwwwww Man!" and walked back into my bedroom, where he immediately informed Gabby "Mommy did her own flush this time."

Her response?

"Awwwwwww Man!"

For real. This is what life is like around here. And people wonder why I don't write more on this blog.

Can't Stop Laughing

2008-05-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

The universe must've decided I needed some lightening up because I just keep stumbling onto side-splitting stuff on the web. Did anyone see the Tom Cruise/Oprah interview? It was a freakin' mess. If you love Tom or hate Tom or love Oprah or hate Oprah or love Katie or hate Katie you will pee your pants reading this "wrap up" of the interview:

http://www.iambossy.com/i_am_bossy/2008/05/for-those-of-yo.html?cid=113775688#comment-113775688

Trust me on this one - you'll thank me later. It's the funniest thing I've seen in maybe forever.

I needed a good laugh

2008-05-07T16:30:00.001-07:00

I'm laughing so hard there are tears running down my cheeks. You MUST check this out, then come back and tell me which caption you voted for.

http://fussypants.typepad.com/whatsmartmommiesknow/2008/05/fussys-evil-kit.html

No Touch-Backs!

2008-05-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

I got tagged TWICE in one day! It was like a week ago and things have been so nuts around here that it's taken me this long to come up with semi-coherent responses. So Lynsey and Alyssa, these are for you.

First I was asked to come up with a 6 word description of myself. Seeing as how I'm not usually a woman of few words, this was very difficult. But I was outside playing with my little ones today and thinking about what a rewarding thing it is to dedicate your life to others. It's also very intimidating, because parenthood is such an overwhelming task. I thought - "Well I'm just going to give 100% of what I've got and it will be enough". And that's why I came up with my sentence:

She Gave Them Everything She Had.

If that can always be said of me, when all is said and done, I will rest easy.

The other tag was to use the letters in my middle name to describe myself. This was WAY harder than I thought but here's my best stab at it:

L - Learning. I LOVE learning! The brain is my favorite muscle to exercise so I'm always thinking about the next class I want to take, next book I want to read, next skill I want to try my hand at. And I really enjoy learning about others too - what people think, feel, do - where they go and the experiences they have. Sometimes I'm so curious that I actually interrupt people I'm talking to with my next question before they can fully answer my first!

A - Altruistic. I can be very very selfish at times (especially on my birthday!). But for the most part, I really love giving to others. I look for opportunities to do service and volunteer work. And if you need it, you can have the shirt off my back. Literally. My dream, once my kids are in school, is to work with as many charities as possible and then write about my experiences in hopes of inspiring others to get involved.

Y - Yawning. As the young mother to three energetic little ones I am pretty much always exhausted. But it's a good kind of tired - it means I'm working hard, wearing myself out in dedication to my family. In my efforts to give them everything they deserve I'm up before they are, in bed long after they are, and usually up again several times during the night tending to bad dreams, toothaches, growing pains and the likes. Really, it's good. I am never ever ever bored.

N - Nerdy. I would like to say, for the record, that I'm not as nerdy as I used to be (and WAY less nerdy than my husband). But given the choice between watching "American Idol" and "Nova", I choose the science-based documentary any day. I love debating politics, love reading sci-fi, love the planetarium.

E - Expressive. I just can't stop talking! Having a good discussion with someone is my very favorite thing to do. I also love to write (which is why I'm just lovin' this Blogging thing). I own about ten journals with ten different writing purposes and I'm always shopping for more. I enjoy expressing myself through creative projects as well. It drives Brett crazy because I've always got about ten different crafts strewn across our kitchen table at any given time. I can't get enough!

So now you know even MORE about me (it seems this blog is like an open book to my life). I tag all my cute neighbor bloggers - Jen, Kendy and Corrinne (who is probably having her baby at this very moment!).

Obsession

2008-05-06T07:46:00.000-07:00

Look, I'm really sorry. I don't like to get political on this blog. But I just can't take it anymore.

For real. I get it. Gas is expensive. It's getting more expensive. Deal with it!

I'm not saying it's not disappointing to see those new, bigger numbers every time I drive past the Chevron by my house. I'm not saying it doesn't make me sad to cough up so much of our hard-earned pennies to fuel our big-ass minivan.

BUT THAT'S MY CHOICE!

The cold hard facts are that gas is a precious commodity and a non-renewable resource. So guess what? It's going to continue to get more and more expensive. Sure the rate at which it rises may be faster than it used to be. But that is neither the government's fault nor it's responsibility. We, as citizens are guarateed "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness". That doesn't not include "the right to cheap fuel while drive around in enormous, gas-guzzling, air-polluting vehicles most of us don't need".

Look. Lots of things are expensive. Going out to eat. Going to the movies. Going to concerts. Having Satellite TV. Shopping at the Gap. Getting your hair highlighted. Owning pets.

These are all choices we make - luxuries we decide we will work to afford.

So if you don't like the price of gas, I've got a really simple solution. DON'T PAY IT! It's YOUR CHOICE! Take public transportation. Walk. Bike. Carpool. Drive a Civic (almost 40 mpg). Drive a Hybrid. Whatever!!!!!!!!!!!

Just please stop obsessing about it, worrying about it, belly-aching about it. Please!

Check Me Out!

2008-04-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

So I've been secretly working on a project for a few weeks now that I'm just dying to share with all of you. It's another blog, specifically written for moms called "SuperMom Central - tips, tricks and tidbits for the aspiring supermom". I swear, I'm so excited to see if this works out I could just pee my bloggy pants! For some time now I've been wanting to write a book or create some sort of forum where mommy tips could be shared in hopes of making all our lives a little easier and maybe even more fun. I think it's got a little something for everyone - it's broken up into sections called "Hip Mommy", "Brainy Mommy", "Savvy Mommy", "Rockin' Mommy", "Crafty Mommy" and "Earthy Mommy". So far I'm the only writer, but I would love to post articles written by others that are willing to share their mommy-wisdom.

So do me a favor and check it out please! As an incentive, I've launched it with a GIVEAWAY and who here doesn't like free stuff? So for real - check it out, and maybe, if you like it, tell your friends so they can enter in the drawing too. Here's the link:

http://www.supermomcentral.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

PS - Shellee, you asked where I got some of the cutie clothes I posted about earlier - there's an article written about my favorite kiddo-couture websites that should have all that.

Carolina On My Mind...

2008-04-18T07:12:00.001-07:00

Well, my birthday just rocked. I know it was over a month ago but it was like a March-long fiesta and it could not have been better. Thanks to all who responded to my shameless publicizing of the blessed date - I hope to return the favor, assuming that you will tell me when your birthday is coming because I SUCK at remembering dates.

Anyways, all the festivities were so fun, but by far the coolest part of my birthday was going to visit Lynsey, Ben and Caleb in NC. They were great hosts - Lyns especially went out of her way to make sure I had a good time and got to experience NC. We kicked around their hood a bit the first day, then headed to the coast and spent 3 relaxing days at their beach condo. The weather was warm and balmy for the most part (which was great for my skin and murder on my hair, but that's pretty much a lost cause anyways), interrupted one night by the most WICKED lightning storm I have ever witnessed. There was alot of shell-hunting on the beach, some hilarious hijinx with the camera, a few beauty sessions, a new card game, a horrible horror movie, a fabulous Backyardigans movie, a harrowing drive, yummy Hushpuppies, even yummier cheesecake, not-so yummy fried okra (but I'm proud of myself for trying it) and LOTS of photo ops.

But to be honest with you, the whole thing could've been held in an outhouse for all I care. I just LOVED being with those three! Talking with Lyns, Laughing at Ben (oh, I mean WITH Ben), and totally adoring Caleb - those were the real highlights. Thanks to all of them for a great time, and to my family for contributing birthday money to the cause and helping with the kids while I was gone. And a big kiss to Brett for...well just being great about it from beginning to end. Here are the highlights - below is the full-monty ala slideshow.

Carolina Memories

2008-04-18T07:07:00.001-07:00

Marge Simpson is my new best friend

2008-04-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

I was ready for bed about 5 hours ago. But that's not how we roll around here - we're night owls and thank heavens because once all the kiddos are in bed I can actually get the place semi-clean. Anyways, I was doing dishes a few minutes ago and watching the Simpsons on my little portable TV (thanks mom!) to keep me from falling asleep face down in the soap bubbles. It's the episode where Bart and all of his friends form a BoyBand and get signed with a big record company who writes their songs with hidden messages about Joining The Navy.

THE POINT: Lisa and Marge are sitting on the couch watching this music video that has all these bellydancing girls in it singing "Yvan Eht Nioj" and Lisa says "There's something weird about this video" and Marge says:

"None of those women have had three babies, I can tell you that."

I almost climbed through the television screen and gave her a bit wet kiss on the lips!

The first pregnancy was definitely a shock to my body. Spreading hips, stretch marks, tearing...yikes. Baby #2 was more of the same. But it feels like Baby #3 has trashed me beyond repair. My body has simply given up on me. It doesn't help that I had my kids so close together (I figured it out - in the past 5 years there have only been 3 months where I wasn't pregnant or nursing. CRAZY). But I'm starting to lose my cool about the whole thing. Merrick is 10 months old and summer is on its way.

So I am issuing a SINCERE request to all mothers out there - please give me any and all tips you have on repairing your body after babies! I'm desperate! Last week I put myself on a strict all-liquid diet that was absolute torture and did NOTHING for me (except make me seriously grouchy - see my post about finding a new layout).

A quick note: To all my wonderful friends/family who haven't had 2 or more babies - keep your diet secrets to yourself, thank you very much. I don't need stuff like "I find that portion control really helps me slim down". I've pushed three 8 lbs. humans out of my poor body and you cannot truly understand what that does to your figure until you've been through it. So hush up on this one.

Happy Birthday Gabby!

2008-04-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

On March 5th Gabby turned 2! It was party-fest again, with lots of playing, lots of sugar and lots and LOTS of spoiling! Grammy and Eri threw her a great little party with this cute princess cake. She also had fun party and delicious chocolate cake with Papa, Brenda and David (sorry, no pics).

We started the celebration off with a day out with Nana. First there was lunch and cupcakes at Gateway, then we headed over to the Children's Museum (which I had been boycotting up until that point because of their outrageous admission prices).

It is a supercool place for families with HOURS and HOURS of great kid stuff to do (all very entertainingly educational).

She also had a special night out with her Aunt Erica at "Disney Pricesses On Ice". I didn't get to take a picture that night but this is the outfit she wore, so you get the idea. I swear I did not push all the princess stuff on her - it just happened. She's still got alot of tomboy in her, though. She'll put on her highheels and then go play with trucks in the dirt!

Our little family of five had our own celebration as well. Jude picked out an Ariel doll for her (our house has been quite void of girly things up until now so she's earned it). A hopeful Mommy and Daddy gave her undies for her birthday. So far she just puts them on over her diaper....

For the complete set of pictures from all the festivities, see the slideshow below.

Gabby's Birthday

2008-04-16T08:20:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday Jude

2008-04-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

Sorry but I really do want to go this far back because it was so much fun. Jude turned 4 on Feb. 19th and we had several fun parties to celebrate - there was a yummy family breakfast, a fun night on the BYU campus, a weekend of relaxing at the cabin, and a 4-yr. old bowling tourney. Here are the photo highlights (my apologies that there are no photos from the BYU night - camera battery was dead!).

"THE" bike (and helmet too)

Bowling Buddies

The whole partyin' crew

Merrick Loves Nana

Curious Gabs

My Fab Four Year Old

Storytime with Aunt Eri

Good times with Little Bear

Fun in the Snow

And if you haven't had enough, I'm posting a slideshow below a slideshow of the ALL the pics taken that weekend. (This is mostly for the mommies of the bowlers).

Jude's Birthday

2008-04-15T08:48:00.001-07:00

Catch up time!

2008-04-15T07:30:00.001-07:00

So I disappeared from blogging for over a month due to...well mostly too much fun in the outside world. March was full of birthday parties and vacations and Easter, etc. Then we all got a Monster Cold here so we laid low for the first part of April. That's not to say I was never online. But my spare internet time was spent discovering the joys of Google Reader and Blog-Stalking which is more addicting than the Kalua Chocolate Cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory. I found lots of fun mommy-related websites, lots of fabulous children's clothing website (more to come on this), lots of cool kiddie crafts, lots of yummy recipes, lots of stressed out mums like myself and even a bit of random online fun like www.prevention.com/braingames and http://www.freerice.com/.

So now it's time for a little catching up, which means over the next little while I will be posting photos like a madwoman. Understand in advance that they're mostly of my cutie-pie kids and, while I try to keep that to a minimum so as to not make this the "Horsley Kids FanClub Blog", they were just extra cute this month and I can't help myself. I post them for the benefit of their grandparents (who adore my kids maybe even more than I do) and my sister, who refuses to move close enough to adore my children in person. The rest of you can do whatever - view them, not view them, comment or not comment, hate me, love me, think I'm a camera-obsessed mom, whatever.

A Minor Obsession

2008-04-12T07:46:00.001-07:00

I was given an unusual tag this morning by my cousin Shellee. At first I wasn't sure I wanted to participate, because it lays bare a little problem I've been having lately. Namely: Shopping. And not just any old wander-the-aisles-of-Target-buying-stuff-I-don't-need shopping. High fashion shopping for my 2 year old. I have always been a huge proponent of ebay, proud of the fact that I get cute, quality clothes for practically pennies while everyone else is coughing up 40$ for their little girl's pair of jeans. And don't get me wrong - my love affair with Ebay is going strong. But lately...I just can't help myself...I've been buying...all sorts of lovely bits...OFF THE RACK! For the most part I still consider myself a die-hard bargain shopper but here are a few of the fabulous things I just couldn't bear to have Gabby not wear:

First off, my Gymbucks purchases, because that was the tag -

And then there was this unbarebly cool dress -

And these rockin' knee socks to match (in my defense, they will go with 2 other outfits as well) -

And this totally awesome tee -

And I've got like ten things on my "to buy list", though I've totally banned myself for the rest of the month because I've busted the kids' budget like I was Zsa Zsa Gabor. However, May 1st isn't too far away...

PS - Little Shout-Out of gratitute to Shellee for instructing me in the ways of the Gymbucks - at 12:01 I was ready to go and it was so fun!

And the Winner Is...

2008-04-10T15:08:00.001-07:00

Yippee! This template has totally made my day! I found it on a site I had been avoiding in yesterday's late-night search because it's name hinted at a rather private topic (blush)...

www.suckmylolly.com

That's right, ladies and gents. This cute, friendly, slightly funky template came from the above mentioned website (blush) which is full to the brim with darling free templates. Check it out if you dare...

Thanks to all who tried to steer me in the right direction - cookies for all of you!

Didn't your mother teach you to share?

2008-04-09T22:59:00.002-07:00

Oh man I am so freakin' annoyed right now! I've finally decided to return to my beloved blogger world and thought my template could use a face-lift (thanks, weirdo Utah weather, for the snowstorm earlier today, but last time I checked it's SPRING) now that the seasons are changing. Well pretty much all of you have totally cute templates which I am in love with and yet I have spent the last 2 HOURS trying to find out where everyone is getting them, or maybe how to make my own and all I have come up with is CRAP. What's going on here? Why are these fabulous templates such a well-kept secret? Where are you getting them and how are you installing them and why can't I be in this special blog-club where the whole blog-world is all blog-tastic except my blog which, in comparison, seems a big blog-blah? WHY WON'T YOU SHARE WITH ME?

Alright. That sounded a little bitter and I apologize. I'm just not used to feeling so internet- impotent. Please help me, I'm begging all of you. How are you custom making your headers? Where are these darling backgrounds, fun fonts, and cool layouts? A HUGE plate of cookies goes to anyone who steers me in the right direction.

Pretty please.

29 and holding

2008-02-26T15:24:00.001-08:00

Lauren's List of Love
Day 13

The 20's

I got a call from my Dad today, asking what we should do to celebrate my birthday. I realized - it's exactly one week away! I usually start the countdown like a month in advance and gear up for the big day but lately I've been so consumed with kiddies and family and YW and...well just all the stuff. I'm hoping this means I am maturing past such self-centeredness, but it's probably just an indication that I'm losing braincells as I age. At any rate, I'm turning 29 this year and I can totally see why people joke about being 29 forever. It's a great age! My 20's have been totally awesome! I've learned so much about myself and the world around me, had some of the most amazing experiences of my life, found my husband/best friend, birthed 3 darling babes, travelled all over the world, and in general just had a total blast!

There is no other age I would rather be. Seriously. Being and adult totally rocks! Childhood was fun, but very confusing and limiting. And the teenage years were pure misery. In fact, I was thinking today that I wish I could go back to 13 year-old Lauren or 17 year old Lauren and tell her that if she's just patient, things are gonna get a whole lot better. She should just sit in her room and read til she's like 21. Which then made me wonder - what would other people go back and tell their teen-age selves if they could? So I'm using this post to create a TAG! I don't know if this is against Blog-Law or whatever but I don't care. This Tag is dedicated to all the poor, miserable teenagers out there who are wondering if life is always gonna suck as hard as it does now. EVERYONE READING THIS IS OFFICIALLY TAGGED! I can't wait to see your answers to these questions. (my answers are in parenthesis)

1 - If you could go back and tell your teenage self one thing, what would it be?
(Boys are totally lame til they're at least 21. Don't waste your time til then. Read. Travel. Focus on your education. Brett will be along soon enough)

2 - What extracurricular activities did you do in highschool?
(I was big time involved on the debate team - was even the Debate President my senior year. I sang in A Cappella and Belle Canto, played in the bell choir, dabbled in Key Club, was on the School Morning News crew, on the Peer Leadership Team, a member of Utah Youth Government, Volunteered at Big Brother/Big Sister, had bit parts in a couple school plays and spent a good deal of time my senior year in the Sluff Club :)

2a - what other things did you like to do with your free time?
(reading, writing, listening to music, going to concerts, chalking cute boys driveways, and making fun of cheerleaders)

3 - What's the coolest thing you did as a teenager?
(We once stole my choir teacher's car keys, made a copy and then would move his car around the parking lot every once in awhile. Oh - and we once stole flashing barricades and put them on people's lawns. Stealing stuff is cool. Except when you're the gettaway car, right Ty?)

4 - What's the dumbest thing you did as a teenager?
(So many to choose from...Well, I was a huge liar as a teenager and lied all the time about stupid stuff. I lost several very good friends that way. Still regret it to this day.)

5 - Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend in highschool?
(Yes. His name was Burton. He was cool but a very sloppy kisser)

5a - If you did, tell why it did or did not work out.
(In all honesty, the kissing issue was huge. I seriously had to towel down after making out with him. And then he started to get really possesive and I had a couple other guys asking me out and I was like - "the perks aren't great, I'm being totally smothered, and I'm tired of having my face sucked off. I'm gonna go spread the love around.")

6 - When you think about your teenage years, what songs come to mind?
("When I Come Around" - Greenday, "Hey Jealousy" - Gin Blossoms, "Walk on the Ocean" - Toad the Wet Sprocket, "Galileo" - Indigo Girls)

7 - What's the funnest date you went on in highschool?
(Christmas dance - we had a food fight in a rented-out storage space)

8 - If you could change one thing about your teenage years, what would it be?
(I wouldn't have rollerbladed that night that I injured my knee. I was unable to play soccer or be in dance company because of that injury, plus I missed State Debate Finals - I had two surgeries and was out of school for like 2 months. It was misery)

9 - What did you think you would grow up and become when you were a teenager?
(My dream was to be a photographer or astronaut, but realistically I was planning on becoming a nurse)

10 - Post a picture of yourself as a teenager.
(I promise to do this - I just need to dig one out tonight)

GET GOING!

PS - Disclaimer: I did not use this post to advertise the fact that my birthday is coming up. However, you might want to make a note of it. March 4th. Write it down. :)

Vroom, Vroom, Vroooooooooooooom

2008-02-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

Lauren's List of Love

Day 12

DRIVING

I looooooove driving. I love long, cross-country road trips and short little jaunts to Target. I love the therapeutic calm of the serene backroads and winding neighborhoods. I love the exhilleration of flying down the freeway with the windows down and the radio blaring. Ah - such freedom to go where you choose whenever you choose! When we were in Switzerland we were too poor to own a car and I found myself at the mercy of Public Transportation. Don't get me wrong - I'm not knocking PT here. Many a time I've been darn grateful for it, and not just in Switzerland (NYC, Paris and Rome all come to mind). But I found it torturous to be a slave to the bus schedule on a daily basis while living in St. Sulpice. Brett and I had to leave events early to catch the right train, take a suitcase with us to the grocery store (how handy a car trunk is!) and wasted a good deal of time back-tracking when we missed our stop or our connecting train. And I don't have to tell you how enticing 8:30 church sounds when it involved a 15 min. trek in the snow, a 15 min. Metro ride and another 15 min. walk against freezing wind. I'm embarassed to say that it put my testimony to the test a bit. Furthermore, my knowlege of the cities surrounding our little village was completely limited to the few bus routes I had familiarized myself with. It was very intimidating to a ex-pat like myself, with only a few French phrases at my grasp. (I was so proud of myself the first time I bought my own train ticket!) And the time commitment! If I wanted a burger or a new pair of shoes or even a pack of gum it was an hour long ordeal at the least!

The experience was eye-opening and made me so grateful for my humble set of wheels waiting for me back in the States. And now that I'm a mother to three little ones my car is beyond value! When Gabby was a baby I tried to take the two kids to the downtown library via Trax. What a fiasco! Again, not knocking on Trax here. Hooray for Trax. Love Trax. Just not with my arms full of babies and toddlers and diaper bags and library books and purses and binkies and sippy cups and strollers! I never thought I would say this, but I am full-on in love with my minivan. Because it buys us FREEDOM. Freedom to get out of the house and disrupt the quiet peace of Barnes and Noble or have lunch at Primary Children's with my mom or run around the Aquarium til our feet hurt.

I also want to quickly add that some of the very best conversations I've ever had have been on road trips. I knew I wanted to marry Brett after our first road trip together. Road trips have sealed life-long friendships and healed rifts in difficult relationships. I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had to admire the scenery of this world through the passenger side window.
I am a fan of any and all cars. It doesn't have to be fancy to impress me. As long as it gets me where I want to go and has a radio. That being said, if I could choose a set of wheels for just me, I'd love to cruise around in one of those cute little Mini Coopers. Their so adorable!

CLICK

2008-02-23T22:24:00.000-08:00

LAUREN'S LIST OF LOVE

Day 11

My Digital Camera

If you've ever hung out with me and my kids at the zoo or aquarium or museum or park...or pretty much anywhere you will know that I'm a camera addict. I absolutely love taking pictures and my favorite subjects are my babies - Jude, Gabs and Mer (cheesy, I know, but I can't help it. They're so freaking cute!). For a shutterbug like me the invention of the digital camera was a gift from the heavens! Our children will never appreciate how wonderfully freeing it is to take a million pictures of the same thing, instantly view them all, delete 999,999,999 of them and keep that one perfect shot. Oh! And it doesn't stop there! What a luxury to plug your camera into your computer, upload your photos to Walmart or whatever, crop them, retouch them, black and white them and then Click! Order them to be ready to pick up the next day while you're swinging by to get baking soda, nylons and a wrench.

I used to fantasize about being a photographer when I grew up. I've always wanted to take a class but wasn't sure I was cut out for the patience involved with developing and dark rooms and all that business. Now that they've made those fancy-pants professional cameras in digital I'm saving my pennies! Can't wait to go pro!

As a tribute to my current wonderful dig. cam. I'm posting some of my favorite pics from this past year. (sorry, they're pretty much all of my kids). I had a hard time picking and choosing so there's alot of them!

Jude and his best pal

First group pic

A crisp fall day

A Merry Merrick Christmas

Baby kisses

A pout in the park

That 23 hours of labor really wore him out

Juder smile

Two sleepy guys

The face of mischief

My Little Valentine

Chillin' in San An (6 mo. pregnant)

A hot summer afternoon

Trick or Treat!

Fantastic Four Year Old

Rockin' the hawk

My baby taking her baby for a walk

First Cuddle

Blog Slacker

2008-02-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm sure you all have noticed that my LIST OF LOVE daily digest hasn't worked out so hot. I don't know why I thought I'd have time in Feb. to blog once a day - I'm lucky if I make my bed everyday! I was a bloggin' fool. Please accept my apologies and this little catch-up LIST OF LOVE (I vow to have 29 things on here by the end of this month!):

I want to start with my four favorite places...

Day 7

BARNES AND NOBLE

Oh how I love this place! I love the dark mahogany shelves that make every book look utterly fascinating. I love the smell of hot brewing coffee and over-priced pastries mingled with the scent of freshly printed pages. I love the little signs on each row, proudly pronouncing yet another interesting subject which can be delved into, should you choose to turn in there. I love the comfy, stylish chairs placed randomly throughout the store, saying "sit in me. read. be enlightened." It's a wonderful, magical place that somehow restores my belief in all the good things in the world and in myself.

Day 8

DISNEYLAND

As I was re-reading that last Barnes and Noble line about it being a magical place I realized that I have yet to post about my great love-affair with The Happiest Place On Earth! I have been a Disney addict since I was young and try to get my fix at least once every couple of years. I've memeorized every inch of the place and my dream job would be to be a Disney Tour Guide cuz I can talk about it for days! (Did you know there's a secret underground world under Disneyland? It's true!). But the thing is, there are two kinds of people in the world: Those who love Disneyland and those who don't. So there's no need for me to say anything further - either you're with me, or you're lame.

PS - I'm extra excited for my next trip there because Brett and I have decided that for each of our childrens' 5th birthdays they get to go to Disneyland! Everyone in the family over 5 goes, the little ones stay with the Grandparents. Anyways, with Jude's birthday being last week, my next visit to Disneyland is less than a year away!

Day 9

ITALY

Whenever I picture heaven, it looks like Italy. Whenever I fantasize about going somewhere romantic or relaxing or exotic or fascinating, it's Italy. When I retire, I'm buying my summer villa in Italy. I know I've only touched the surface of what it has to offer - 2 days in Rome, 2 days in Venice, 2 days in Courmayere... but it was enough to convince me that it is the place for me. First off, the architecture is stunning. Venice was unlike anywhere in the entire world - so wonderfully unique and colorful. And Italian food and culture are much alike - Rich, bold, and passionate. Italian art and music are so full of life. After reading "The Agony and Ecstasy" I am completely in love with the Italian Rennaissance and I'm so amazed that they have stayed so loyal to their history. But mostly, how can you NOT love a country that takes a 2 hour break everyday to eat, nap, and smell the roses a little?

Day 10

AMERICA

While I'm gushing about Italy I ought to mention that though there are many things I love about Europe, I am so incredibly proud to be an American and consider myself dang lucky to have been born here. I've been thinking alot about freedom, what with Fidel Castro stepping down and Cubans facing yet another dictator reigning over them. Aren't we so blessed to have a democracy where anyone can speak their mind, choose how they want to live, and vote for the person they think will do the best job running our country! Cubans cannot do any of those things. And yet how easily we take them for granted. I am so SO in love with this country - how varied and unique our landscape and our people are, how committed we are to excellence, how vast the opportunities are for anyone to reach out and take advantage of. Everyday I am taught by this country the unequivocal value of free-agency. I love the fact that we are allowed to salute the flag, or stomp on it. We are free!

Sunny Days, Sweeping the Clouds Away

2008-02-12T22:25:00.001-08:00

LAUREN'S LIST OF LOVE

Day 6

SESAME STREET!

I don't care what age you are, that show is good, quality TV. I learn something everytime I watch it with my little ones! As a mom, I feel it is totally guilt-free TV time for my kids (which means I get to eat lunch or take a shower or something exciting like that). It provides such a well-rounded education - teaching pre-K skills in a variety of different ways to appeal to all different types of children. Plus they've added in cool things like sign-language, arts and music, the cultures of children throughout the world, etc. Such great exposure for our little ones here in dullsville SLC.

For me, there is just something so comforting about the shows you watched as a kid. C'mon - who's more loveable than Elmo? Who's got better sense of humor than Ernie? Who's a better physical comedian than Grover? Plus, the show is great for adult self-esteem. I feel so very bilingual, thanks to Rosita's "Spanish word of the day". And Cookie Monster's eating disorder makes my snacking indiscretions look puny. Sesame Street's got it all!

I have a few personal Sesame Faves - they're vintage. Anyone remember the Boogie Woogie Sheep? How bout the Mnah Mnah guy? The Twiddlebugs? The Coconut Counting Man? Carribean Amphibean? Oh I could go on and on.

But, instead, I would love to hear from all of you. What's are your favorite Sesame Street moments?

Ode To My Sis

2008-02-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

LAUREN'S LIST OF LOVE

Day 5

MY SISTER

For those who also read Lynsey's blog (my one and only sister) you'll know that she's been having some rough days. Ok, she's had a rough 6 1/2 months, to be exact. Her and Ben (her Hubby) moved to North Carolina in July to run a group foster home for kids who get kicked out of permenant placements for bad behavior. In other words, they're parents screwed them up so badly that they have difficulties coping with everyday life and take it out in negative ways. On Lynsey and Ben. But my sister was made for this challenge. She has unending patience, a really cool head and the BEST sense of humor. And a huge heart. I'm so impressed that she has sacrificed this year of her life in service to the "unwanted" of the world, showing them the unconditional love they thought didn't exist.

On top of all that, she finds the time to make almost daily long-distance phone calls to make sure I'm staying sane. She is one of my very best friends, on my "Top 5 favorite people list" and if I were stranded on an island with just one other human being, I would want it to be her. I don't want to gush endlessly in this post (though I could) so I will just make a little Top 10 list of why I'm so damn lucky to have her in my life.

1 - I've never laughed harder with anyone. She is so freaking funny. Read her blog if you don't believe me.

2 - She is an amazing mother. Her son is intelligent and sweet and clever and very talented and it is mostly because of Lyns. He's had alot of struggles in his young life and her bravery and dedication to helping him through it has taught him how to face trials.

3 - She sings with me. Lynsey has a gorgeous voice and we have been singing together since we were babies (no lie). She has been the soprano to my second in many unique moments: when I couldn't sleep at night as a kid, when our mother was in the hospital, at our father's remarriage, in church, in concerts, in the car, over the phone, etc. She knows every song I know. Her voice is strong and soothing and reminds me of all that's beautiful in the world.

4 - She's the big sister I never had. Lynsey taught me how to put on eye liner properly. And what products work well in short hair. The blessing to being so close in age is that I've always been able to look up to her in many ways for the strengths she had that I lacked.

5 - She has unending compassion. She cares for these foster kids like they were her own and puts up with so much. She loves those kids, who are royal pains because they think they are unlovable. And she's like that with everyone in her life. No matter how prickly, Lynsey will find a reason to love just about anyone.

6 - She's very Christ-like. She's kind and generous and gentle. She keeps her eye focused on being a good and faithful servant to the Lord and shows gratitude for her blessings. She teaches others by her example, quietly and lovingly.

7 - She will tell me the truth. It's so important to have a few people in your life that will be honest with you for your own good, even when it's painful. Lynsey is like that for me and so she keeps me in check and helps me to grow.

8 - She's got great fashion sense. I always love going through her "DI" pile cuz she has excellent taste in clothes. She has a knack for finding things that fit her just perfectly and then putting herself together so she looks polished and sophisticated, while still trendy and cute. This also carries over into the way she decorates her home and how crafty and creative she is.

9 - She is completely unselfish. When I found out I was pregnant with Merrick I was...less than pleased. OK - I bawled my eyes out. Lynsey suggested we go to dinner to celebrate the pregnancy and when it was time to pay she pulled out like 20 bucks in coins! She had robbed her coin jar to take me out! I was floored. And that's just one of like a million stories like that.

10 - She knows it all, and keeps coming back for more. Lynsey is the only person in the WORLD who knows every single one of my deep dark secrets. Furthermore, she's seen me at my worst moments. And she still totally loves me, as a sister and as a friend. That is such an amazing gift to me. We've been together from the start and, hopefully, will be together til the end. She is my one life-long companion and there are not words to express how grateful I am for her.

Summertime

2008-02-06T12:24:00.000-08:00

LAUREN'S LIST OF LOVE

Day 2-4

Things have been crazy as usual and daily postings have gone on the back burner, so I'm playing catch-up here by listing 3 things I love to cover days 2-4. They're all sorta related so I guess it works. So here are my "summer themed" loves.

SWIMMING POOLS

I absolutely love to swim. While I don't totally go in for all that zodiac nonesense, I'm technically a pisces, which dictates that I must be a waterbaby. The funny part about it is that I only like to swim in swimming pools. I consider swimming in lakes or oceans not only to be gross, but dangerous. But swimming pools are so crystal clear and they smell so nice and bleachy. I can spend hours gliding through the water, enjoying the lovely lightness of buoyancy. And if Brett and I are ever rich (ha!) the first thing I will buy is a swimming pool for the backyard. I have this fantasy of us out there with our six kids splashing and laughing in the sun. You're all invited to my future pool party!

STRAWBERRIES

My mouth is watering just thinking about them! Strawberries are my absolute favorite food - I just can't get enough of 'em in the summertime. I'm posting below my favorite strawberry recipe. It's Homemade Strawberry Shortcake, British style and it's fabulous, dahling.

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE
1 1/2 cups flour

1/2 tsp salt
1 TBS baking powder

5 TBS caster sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter (frozen)

1 egg (beaten)
1/2 cup single cream (AKA Half and Half)
1 eggwhite (beaten)
4 cups sliced strawberries

4 tbs regluar sugar

Mix: Flour, salt, baking powder, and 3 tbs of caster sugar. Grate frozen butter in. Whisk together egg and cream - add to the mix. Roll out dough 2 cm. thick. Cut out circles (makes about 8). Lay them on a cookie sheet and brush them with the egg white. Sprinkle them with the remaining caster sugar. Bake @ 425 degrees for 10-15 mintes. Stir fresh sliced strawberries with the regular sugar. When shortcakes have cooled, slice them open (like you would a bagel) load the bottom up with the strawberry mix and either some whip cream or a scoop of vanilla ice cream (that's my preference) and put the top on.

These are so unbelievably yummy!
***caster sugar is called "superfine" sugar in the US and can be made with regular sugar by grinding it in the food processor for a few minutes. Don't use powdered sugar!

BEING BAREFOOT IN THE GRASS

"Naked came I into the world, and naked must I go out" - Cervantes.
But since I would scare many a people if I ran around in the buck (especially here in good ole' SLC) I must settle for being barefoot as often as possible. I love the tickle of soft grass blades on the tender arch of my feet. I like to stand still on our back lawn and wiggle my toes down deep into the earth. I must admit, I sacrifice beauty for this. My feet are calloused and worn and, especially in the summertime, a bit permenantly dingy. But I don't care. My feet are celebrating the wonderful freedom of partial nudity and I'll take what I can get.

All You Need Is Love

2008-02-03T00:14:00.000-08:00

I was recently "blogstalking" (as I heard someone cleverly call it) and saw that Lynsey's friend Andera had decided, for the month of Feb., to post about something she loves each day. What with Valentines coming up and all, I thought this was a totally cute idea and have decided to do the same (mimicry is the sincerest form of flattery, Andrea). So here goes...

LAUREN'S LIST OF LOVE
Day 1

GOOD MUSIC

I swear there is no better feeling in the entire world than flying down Highway 89 with your windows rolled down and the radio blaring. Music has an amazing power over me - in mere moments it can set me flying on a wicked natural high or suck every ounce of light out of my day. It can infuse me with energy, break my fragile heart, send me 20 years back in time, and reshape my view of the world.

Music is like oxygen for me. I can't imagine anything more torturous than a silent world. The most transcendent and spiritual experiences I've ever had were when I was participating in a musical performance. And my favorite way to spend money is going to concerts. So let me list just a few of my many many musical faves, in hopes of turning all of you on to some of the awesome tunes that make my world more meaningful.

(In No Particular Order)
Bach, Jimmy Eat World, Norah Jones, Five For Fighting, Jethro Tull, Ben Folds, New Found Glory, soundtrak composer Thomas Newman, Joni Mitchell, Imogen Heap, Benny Goodman, Tori Amos, Antonin Dvorak, Counting Crows, Switchfoot, Collection Soul, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Gabe Dixon Band, The Weepies, Alanis Morisette, David Gray, Crosby Stills and Nash, The Dandy Warhols, Jack Johnson, Andrew Peterson, Diana Krall, Nat King Cole, Snow Patrol, Indigo Girls, Paul Simon, Green Day, Peter Gabriel. Erik Satie, Gerald De Palmas...I could go on and on and on.

***honorary props to Duran Duran. While I'm technically not a fan,

I'm full-on addicted to "Falling Down".

Resolution Check-In

2008-01-31T22:42:00.001-08:00

I am pleased to report that January was a totally pleasant month! It was relatively drama-free (my family refuses to give up the chaos completely but they kept it to a minimum), relaxing, productive and fun. Furthermore, my New Year's Resolutions are coming along nicely. I thought I'd list them and report each month so that I have some sort of accountability and incentive to keep at it.

1. No Library Fines. This has been embarassingly difficult for me in the past. I'm sure that, over the years, I have funded a whole new wing to some Salt Lake library with my overdue contributions. What a waste of money!
***I tore the house apart tonight locating my library card so I could online renew the videos that were due today. Hooray! January is FINE FREE!

2. Become a Morning Person. I could be so much more productive if I would get up a little earlier. Also, if I got my kids up earlier they would go to sleep earlier and Brett and I would get a little time for ourselves now and then.
***I officially moved our "get outta bed" time from 9 am to 8:30. I'm ashamed to say that this was much harder than I thought. But I'm still nursing a baby twice a night so I'm kinda cutting myself some slack til he starts sleeping through.

3. Write More Thank You Notes. I am constantly blessed by thoughtful people around me who generally go un-thanked. And I find that the more I focus on being grateful, the less I focus on all my little problems. I want to write and send at least one a week.
***I've only sent one this month. A good start, but I'm gonna try and ramp it up in Feb.

4. Get Involved. Volunteer work helps me to feel like I'm making a tiny difference in the world, which helps me to feel less futile and more empowered. It also gives me an identity outside of "mom" and "honey" which is important to me. And it gives me a sense of being part of a global community that are working for the betterment of the world. I want to be active in at least two volunteer groups this year.
***I have to admit that I have done nothing on this goal thus far. But we just discussed moving our regular book club night, which will allow me to finally attend "Mothers Without Borders" meetings.

Wish me luck in Feb. And I'll send out good vibes to all of you who are working on your own goals - we can make ourselves and this world a better place one step at a time!

HELMET HEAD

2008-01-31T22:20:00.000-08:00

Ok. Ask anybody - I am crazy about home safety when it comes to my kids. All my plugs have protectors, my drawers have latches, my doors have childproof handles, my stairs have a gate. Furthermore, I got rid of my coffee table and put corner bumpers on all unrounded corners. I refuse to let my kids play out of my sight for more than a few minutes. I spot them on playgrounds and never ever let them out front unattended even for a second. I LOVE CHILD SAFETY!!! But this...this picture below of a product I found in one the the child safety catalogs I get...this is a little much. Seriously. Are you with me, ladies?

THE BUMPER BONNET!!!

Here's the website's description:

Learning to crawl? Starting to walk? When baby is accident prone, the Bumper Bonnet prevents bumps, bruises, and tears. The soft, thickly-padded head covering acts as a protective cushion, shielding that delicate little head. Lightweight, with an adjustable chinstrap. Machine wash. One size fits babies 6-36 months. Imported. Colors may vary.

So for thirteen bucks your can make life even harder on your unstable, unbalanced little toddler by strapping him into this thing. As an added bonus he will look and feel like a complete dork in his own home. Get that Geek Image started young!

(I would like to just add that 99% of the injuries my children have received thus far would not have been prevented by this helmet. Gabby's black eye, for starters).

Black Eyed Pea

2008-01-21T17:04:00.000-08:00

Black Eyed Pea is Gabby's new nicname, ever since she banged up her face last week. I'm telling people she was saving orphans from a burning building, but really she just tripped over her own feet and smacked into the piano. I've had so much fun taking pictures of her with a nasty old shiner that I posted below a little montage of all her Black Eyed Faces.

The Many Faces of Gabby's Shiner

2008-01-21T17:03:00.001-08:00

Oh Come With Me To Primary

2008-01-21T16:35:00.000-08:00

So Jude went to Primary this week all by himself! I was proud of him (and of course a tiny bit sad that my little guy is now officially a "kid") and was surprised by how well he has adjusted. I tend to underestimate my children's ability to cope in the real world. It just seems like such a scary place for a little dude like Jude! At any rate, he is convinced that wearing his tie is the key to his courage - that it has some sort of special power, infusing him with Superman-like bravery. After church he passes it around the family, letting each have a turn experiencing it's magic.

Bat Boy or Fat Boy

2008-01-11T10:52:00.000-08:00

Well I thought it was time to post a bit about my littlest dude, Merrick (aside from explaining his Star Wars name). I swear he has gained about 10 lbs. in the past week! I totally love European clothes for my kids but I put this french romper (in the pic) on him the other day and the sleeves were so weird - he looked like a bat! Then I realized that maybe it's just that they don't have fat babies in Europe (they're so proud of how skinny they are over there) and my plump guy just doesn't fit into their posh clothing properly. I couldn't decide - fat boy or bat boy so I thought I'd put it to you all to decide. At any rate, he's a cutie!

Tag-tastic

2008-01-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

Yay! I've been tagged and the first thing I'm gonna tell you about myself is that I've always wanted to be tagged. I just love finding out unique things about people. So here goes...

THE GOOD

- I bake really good cookies. Like, prize winning cookies. People have accused me of buying cookies at a bakery and trying to pass them off as my own - theyre that good. And once, this guy in our ward who owns a bakery came by to drop off some scouting stuff for Brett and I offered him one of my freshly baked cookies and he said they were the best chocolate chip cookies he'd ever tasted. A BAKER! For weeks afterwards I had fantasies of being hired by him just to bake my cookies all day long.

- I can put both feet behind my head. Say what you want about my pregnancy-destroyed body, I'm still a flexible gal.

- I once "guest sang" with my boyfriend's band. We were messing around at his band's practice with the song "She" by Green Day and it sounded pretty decent, so a few night's later they were playing their weekly gig and they called me up to perform the song with them. It's the closest I've ever come to being cool!

THE BAD

- I hate being pregnant. Hate, hate HATE IT. When I even think about being pregnant, I get nauseated and have a miny panic attack. That being said, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do it a few more times. It's worth it.

- I am an Ebay junkie. JUNKIE. I buy a good portion of my kids' clothes on there and can spend hours and hours surfing for a darling outfit at a killer price for Gabby. I just love finding that perfect deal and beating someone out at the last second for it - it's so exhillerating! I get a total high off it! If there is an "Ebayer's annonymous", please let me know because I need it.

- I am secretly afraid of aliens. I KNOW they're not real - all the same they just freak me out to think about. I refuse to watch any alien related movies because I will have nightmares for weeks afterwards.

THE UGLY

- My biggest pet peeve are people who refuse to share and discuss their opinions because they "don't like confrontation". I am a totally open person and love having my views questioned and challenged - it helps me to more clearly define who I am and what I stand for. And I pride myself on being able to put personal feelings aside when debating issues and "agree to disagree" once all is said and done. So it drives me nuts when people act all guarded about discussing their opinions. I think you should stand up for what you believe and be willing to back it up.

- The stupidest thing I have ever EVER done was a result of mixing "the dried leaves and female flowers of the hemp plant" with "liquid made by the fermentation or distillation of sugar" (I am speaking in code here for the sake of my parents). I have only vague recollections of that very stupid night but let's just say that it was very very VERY STUPID. Apparently mixing those two is a big no-no in the intoxication world. Who knew.

- I gained 20 lbs. this year. Now let's all bear in mind that I had a baby in June. But really, most of it has been stress and emotional eating. Just about any phone conversation with my parents ends with a cookie in my mouth. While I know this is ultimately my choice, (and am working on it) there are times where I want to shout at them "Will you stop already? Look at what you're doing to me!" Ugh. Even typing about it is giving me a chocolate craving.

AND ONE LAST TINY CONFESSION...

- I have an enormous crush on George W. Bush. Yes, that's right - the Prez. Not only do I find him quite hansome and generally charming, I am totally attracted to his honesty, his determination, his sense of morals and his blatant disregard for what the fickle, fair-weather American public thinks of him. Plus, I find his inability to speak eloquently in public totally adorable.

So there you have it! It was fun to compile this list of random, little-known facts about me. Can't wait to see what the rest of you have to confess! I tag Alyssa and Carrie and Dana!

pretty good year

2007-12-31T14:01:00.000-08:00

I'm not gonna lie to you - 2007 has been rough. It started off with Gabby puking all over my shoes on New Year's Day at a Chinese restaurant in St. George... and it is obvious to me now that I should've taken that as an omen. The crown jewel of 2007 suckiness was my parents' divorce, but it was flanked on all sides by bad luck -

- a car accident (our car, my mom driving) which totalled Brett's civic and injured my poor mom
- the ensuing bad replacement car purchases (a van which requried a new engine just weeks after we bought it, had a faulty alarm system that tripped, a recent dead battery and now brakes that leak brake fluid)
- a midnight trip to Primary Children's Medical Center with 5 week old Merrick and his 103 degree fever (which turned into a 3 day hospital stay for viral spinal meningitis)

- my best friend Marianne's move to DC (good for her, sad for all of us she left behind)

- My best sister Lynsey's move to NC (stressful for her and devastating for me) - not having her and Ben and Caleb in our lives has really broken my heart

- my dad's way-too-soon remarriage (albeit to a very nice person)

- my sweet grandfather's passing away right before Christmas

And those are just the biggies. I'm not complaining - really, I'm not. I'm just saying, WELCOME 2008!
I read an article about how they placed this huge shredder in the middle of Times Square and encouraged all New Yorkers to write down all the bad things about 2007 and shred em' - it was called "Good Riddance Day". So cool! I don't own a shredder but I am mentally burning each and every one of the events on my list and saying good riddance to the worst year of my life. However, there were many silver linings in 2007 as well and I'm not ungrateful for the blessings that came with the trials. Here are the memories I will hold in my heart from 2007:

- waking up from a nap with my face just inches away from 3 day old Merrick, his tiny little body snuggled up against me, his sweet baby breath warming my cheeks.

- my sister Lynsey taking my hand at my Dad's wedding - knowing that I am never alone because I have her.

- the balmy southern air of San Antonio as Brett and I wander hand in hand down the Riverwalk. It has to be one of the most romantic cities in the world and it was just what we needed to carry us through the difficult times ahead.

- Jude's totally awesome 3rd birthday bash. I'm a party thrower at heart and planned his "train birthday" down to the last detail. We had so much fun! We played on the in-home track we made for weeks. He still talks about it on a regular basis.

- Splashing in the puddling pool on hot summer days with Gabby. Jude was never much one for water play but my little pisces sister Gabs was brave and curious and just totally fun to hang out with in our little blow up pool. I loved the way the sun would lighten up her hair and give her baby skin just a touch of bronze as she laughed and stomped about in the water.

- Bright pink flowers from my mom on the worst weekend of her life. Even at her lowest, she is there for me when I'm having a rough time.

So thanks 2007, for those beautiful memories. And good riddance to the rubbish. BRING IT ON, 2008! I'M READY!

WOOKIEEPEDIA

2007-12-31T12:03:00.000-08:00

Despite my love for Star Wars, I am the last one to want to admit that "The Online Resource For All Things Star Wars" could ever have practical, real-world use. Nonetheless, Brett and I found ourselves having a brief, but VERY useful encounter with this website last night. I want to back up and justify my reason for navigating to Wookieepedia. It didn't just happen on a whim. The train of conversation that led us there went something like this:

Lauren - "I saw the movie "Miss Potter" last night. It was nice, but dull. Ewan McGregor is usually a bit more steamy."

Brett- "Who is Ewan McGregor again?"
L- "He played Obi Wan Kenobi in the first three Star Wars"

B-"Oh yeah. The best fight scene ever was between him and General Greivous"

L- "I hardly remember that movie - who was General Greivous?"

Thus ensued all sorts of descriptions about Greivous, The Clones, and Siths. Brett was a bit fuzzy on whether Siths are a race of people or a just a group who opposed the Jedi. And, of course, any fuzzy details pertaining to Star Wars must immediately be cleared up.

(Hang in there - this really is gonna get good in a minute)

I Wikipedia'd "Sith" and got some basics, but while there, saw a link to "Wookieepedia" and knew it was the true source of enlightenment in our quest for Star Wars knowlege. While on Wookieepedia, reading about the long and bloody struggle between Jedi and Sith (which, by the way, turn out to be a group of Jedi outcasts who use the Force for evil and therefore are the natural enemy of the Jedi) it was mentioned that one of the great conflicts was the battle of Yavin. I wanted a little clarification on this point and navigated to further details.

OK HERE'S WHERE THINGS GET EXCITING!!!

While casually reading through description of the Battle of Yavin I was scrolling down over a list of the squadrons of pilots that flew X-wings and Tie Fighters and came across this:

BLUE SQUADRON LEADER: Merrick Simms

That's right, kids! My sweet little 6 month old was not named after some lame Yu-Gi-Oh character. He is the namesake of a brave and courageous Rebel Fighter who flew a T-65 X-Wing and lead the Blue Squadron to victory! Here's a link to his Wookieepedia page: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Merrick_Simms

I'm pretty sure this ups my Geek Quotient but I just don't care. Star Wars is light years cooler than Yu-Gi-Oh. The point of this story is DON'T KNOCK WOOKIEEPEDIA TIL YOU'VE TRIED IT! It has given my son his dignity back.

Thank you, Wookieepedia. Thank you.

Aspen Here We Come!

2007-12-18T16:25:00.000-08:00

As a surprise birthday present for Brett, our family and friends
pitched in this year to send him to the Winter X Games (I get to
go along as his lovely companion - being his wife is a pretty good gig!). We are so excited to road trip it down to Aspen at the end of January! For those who don't know, the X games is where "X-treme" sports compete. We went to the summer X games last year in LA and saw all the skateboarding events (they also have BMX and MotorX but we're not really into those). This time around we'll be checking out the snowboarding events and maybe catching a little skiing action. They also have snowmobiling competitions, but to me it's just not a sport if it involved some sort of mechanical device. Anyways, we're stoked. The snowboarding events are totally awesome - they've got this one where 4 boarders go down a run at the same time, all racing one another and they go over jumps and slam into eachother and stuff. It's totally scary and exciting! Then there's another one where the boarder does the run by themselves but there's all sorts of rails and tricks they can do to impress the judges. And the Big Daddy event is the SUPER PIPE! SWEEEEEEEET!

I just want to mention that the Winter X games are FREE so everybody should come on down to Aspen and check 'em out with us! If you want to know more, here's a link:
http://www.stayaspensnowmass.com/p-winter-x-games.php#packages
Or you can go to expn.com for info.

Book Club

2007-11-30T23:51:00.001-08:00

So I started a book club a year and a half ago in hopes of staying sane. What I mean is that I was feeling a bit intellectually stagnant, despite all the Sesame Street I get to watch and needed something to keep my mind moving. It has been such a bright spot in my life! Not only have I read some excellent literature and had some very enlightening discussions, but it has been a great excuse to get out of the house once a month with girlfriends and just be me. My favorite thus far has been "The Life of Pi" by Yann Martel, which gave me so much to think about that I actually joined several online discussion groups after our book club night was over to continue discussing the ideas and philosophies in it. I would love to hear thoughts on it from any of you who have had the opportunity to read it and if you haven't - you must. It is amazing.

But I'm digressing. The point of this particular blog is to ask for some reccomendations. My turn to choose a book for Book Club is coming up in a few months and I would really love to hear what you all are reading! Please please please give me any and all suggestions you might have!

The Little Things

2007-11-27T13:29:00.000-08:00

It seems like these blogs are usually used for telling friends and family all your big news. Unfortunately, there is no big news to report for us. Or maybe this is fortunate, as we have, in this past year, had enough big news to last us for quite some time. Last fall the surprise of Merrick's impending arrival coincided almost perfectly with Brett's job change and my calling into the Young Women's presidency. Life has not slowed for a second since then. So I guess right now, for us, "no news" is "good news". But each day is filled with Little Things. They are the ordinary events of happy lives that are forming us into the strong, loving family we strive to be. For instance, yesterday Gabby learned the words to "Give Said The Little Stream" and it cheers me up everytime I hear her singing it to herself. Jude interrupted my phone conversation the other day to remind me that "we don't say HATE, mommy. That's not a nice word." (In my defense, I was saying that I hated Rod Stewart, which I think is an exception to the "don't say hate" rule). And Merrick - well, he did his little part today by taking a 2 1/2 hour nap, which allowed me to clean up the living room, bake cookies with Gabby and play trains with Jude. As a stay-at-home-mom it's easy for the events of the day to feel monotonous or futile. But I have to continually remind myself: All these little things may seem insignificant by themselves but they add up to a beautiful life. So I am very grateful right now that we have no big news - just lots of little things that keep us moving towards our goals.

Goodbye Autumn!

2007-11-27T00:10:00.001-08:00

I love Fall and am always sad to see it end too soon! Here are some of our favorite moments from Autumn 2007.

Painting the Roses Red

2007-11-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

I like to think of our home as a bit like "Alice in Wonderland" - really crazy and really fun.

There's Brett, the Mad Hatter, always rambling on about ravens and writing desks and string theory and particle accellerators. Oh - and fixing things that aren't broken.

And Jude, the Caterpillar, reciting the alphabet at odd times and pontificating the meaning of life from his tiny perspective.

Gabby is our little Cheshire Cat. She sings, dances, and is just all together silly.

And Merrick - The KING of Hearts, forever wishing someone would pay attention to him.

Of course I'd like to think of myself as Alice, but lately I've been feeling much more like one of the Queen's cards that planted the white rose bushes and had to paint them red. I seem to do everything backwards or hard way. I guess it all turns out in the end. But wait - don't the cards get their heads chopped off?